My life..

Monday, February 6th

2012-02-06T08:53:00.000-08:00

4.8 miles biked!

This included a stop at the coffee shop to get little dude a cookie and a stop at the butcher to get my amazing husband a steak for dinner. LOVE our local butcher. They are just fantastic.

WOOT afternoon update! I did another 2.4 miles picking E up from school and taking her and X to the coffee shop.

7.2 miles total today!

February 1, Great day for a new day 1

2012-02-01T04:23:00.001-08:00

I have spent a week and 1/2 resting. I think today is a fantastic day to get back on the bike.

Biked 4.1 miles. Worked up a good sweat but I didn't have to force myself to keep going. I think I am going to have to switch to a harder gear next week so I can get some resistance. Planning to walk tomorrow am.

Day 17 Tuesday

2012-01-24T04:54:00.000-08:00

Today is billed to be fairly busy. I have a photo shoot at city hall today. I am very excited to be taking pictures of (I always start out with "shooting" then realize that is just bad) the mayor.

I am going to try to continue the apple juice fast. Maybe add in some fresh fruit later on today. All biking has been suspended till next Monday, the horror.

Day 16 Monday

2012-01-24T04:52:00.000-08:00

Due to the worst gall bladder attack EVER, I mean I took my apple cider vinegar magical treatment right at the start and topped out at 5 ibuprofen I spent the day fasting. I drank and entire bottle of simply apple, one hand full of cripix cereal and a dinner roll. That was it besides water. I dropped 1.8 pounds.

Day 15

2012-01-22T06:28:00.000-08:00

Today X and I biked 4 miles. I feel the route I took the other day becoming a routine for us. I had to push myself to keep going. Prevatt is an evil mistress uphill. When I made it the mile uphill I knew I could make it 3 more miles.

Continued... Sunday evening I had an absolutely horrible gall bladder attack. Possibly due to the egg and cheese bagel, cheese stick, grilled cheese sandwich then for dinner enchiladas. Perhaps just a wee bit too much cheese? I think.

Day 14

2012-01-22T06:21:00.000-08:00

Today I rested. Well if you call go karting and mall walking resting. I had a fantastic date with my husband at the Magical Midway. We also stopped in at the Millennia Mall and Ikea.

The first stop on our journey was the Millennia Mall. I received a VS gift card for Christmas that was only useable online, only problem was I had no idea what size to buy. 2 years of breastfeeding and fluctuating weight up and down left me clueless. The kind women in the store measured me and let me try on a few. I am proud to announce I am a 38D. No longer a 40E. I would love to get back to a 36 something because of the fantastically cute options that open up at that size.

Onward to Magical Midway http://www.magicalmidway.com/ We rode all 3 GoKarts, the bumper cars and bumper boats. C went on the carousel on steroids. Basically swings like at the county fair that take you way high in the air and then do the swing thing. There was no way I could get on it. I had an anxiety attack just watching him up there. On the fast Go Karts I managed to lap C. The other 2 bumper cars were multi story tracks. You wound your way to the top then ramped down. The first time I experienced the ramp I thought I was going to be decapitated. We had to do those carts a second time and then I managed to pass people. It was my favorite run of the day.

After we got our adrenalin fix for the day we decided to eat some food. When asked what I wanted most in Orlando I would have to say IKEA chocolate cake and mashed potatoes and gravy. It was fantastic.

There ends our first multi hour date in YEARS.

Day 13

2012-01-21T05:21:00.000-08:00

For some mysterious reason. I am down 1.5 pounds from yesterday. Maybe it is all the coffee weight falling off me. Maybe I was still swollen from my gallbladder attack on Tuesday. Either way, this is good and the final straw in I really need to get my butt on my bike. I didn't sleep much last night and now my joints really hurt. So look at me go. Ug I have to tow E with me today. I really hope she gets the hang of bike riding so she can ride independently because 65 extra pounds even though she pedals is hard.

Day 12

2012-01-20T03:53:00.000-08:00

Nothing like starting your day wanting to punch yourself in the face. I have gained 9 pounds in the past 57 days. Up 20 pounds from this time last year. How in the heck did I let it get away with me.

Walked 1 mile

biked 4.1 miles

Day 11

2012-01-19T06:50:00.000-08:00

Back on the wagon er side walk! Walk/jogged 1 mile. Followed by biking 3.1 miles. 7:15-9:30 We did sit with E at school for a bit then come home and bike up. Also had to stop at the coffee shop and the park to play a bit. No coffee was consumed at the coffee shop.

Day 10

2012-01-19T06:45:00.000-08:00

Nothing. Rested due to gall bladder attack. Have given up coffee and in need of a new motivator to keep moving.

Day 9

2012-01-17T05:57:00.000-08:00

Last night I invested in a jogging stroller $80. Also needed a pair of pants and a warm hoody $35.

I started using the free because my nana was recalled ipod. I am so in love with this new gizmo. It can hold 8 gig of music and comes with nike +. I still haven't figured out how to connect to nike.com and see graphs of my runs but I am working on it. Also want to see if it will chart my biking because that would be so stinking COOL.

Today's recap:
Walked E to school then to the horse arena where I attempted to "jog" I made it one side of the square arena. 1.21 miles 36' 54"

Home from the coffee shop .59 miles 19'57"

1.8 miles
57 minutes

Day 8

2012-01-16T08:35:00.000-08:00

Biked to the coffee shop!

X (35 pounds) in the front carrier and E on the hitch hiker (70 pounds).

2.6 miles.

RUNNING!

.40 miles 6'06
.34 miles 7'55

Day 7

2012-01-16T08:33:00.000-08:00

Running!

Not sure how far I ran, but did the route around the horse arena. 7 minutes.

Day 6

2012-01-16T08:23:00.001-08:00

Today was 5k Day. Arrived in Daytona at 7 am in the freezing cold to photograph the runners.

Day 5

2012-01-13T08:12:00.000-08:00

Wow it is just amazing the difference in a week. I got a new bike seat last night and I am completely in LOVE.

Biked E to school on her hitch-hiker, and it is HARD. Then on to the coffee shop and finally the library for story time. I found myself going further than I needed to just to keep riding.

2.5 miles

Then home

2.1

4.6 miles total!

I had hoped for 5 miles. There are plans to pick up E after school and her ride with me to the park, but I am just not sure how good of an idea that is. We will see.

Off to the DMV. Good times!

Day 4

2012-01-12T08:10:00.000-08:00

I don't think I have ever made it to a day 4. Today started with some difficulty but ended very well. Chris had to leave before school for a meeting so I had to drop E off at school. I thought it was silly to walk her to school, walk home then bike. SO X got put in his bike seat and we walked her to school. Tomorrow we are going to put her on her hitchhiker and she is going to bike to school so that will be better. She lost her shoe in the middle of the road and drivers suck with us trying to cross a 40 mph road.

Once she was dropped off the ride started. We took a path along the school. Amazingly fun, but I must remember that I can't in my current physical shape take that road back since it is ALL down hill. Maybe next month I can do it as a push myself challenge.

We stopped at the coffee shop for some coffee and breakfast. I love living in a small town! I had to so much fun chatting with the locals. Great food, great company! Then on to the library. Total miles 2.

We hung out at the library and got my inservice on using the kindle. I am so sad that the Hunger Games author is not releasing her books on kindle for library use. Apparently someone ruined it for the rest of us. It is such an amazing series that I don't mind just buying the other 2. When I signed up for amazon prime I didn't get the concept of one book a month. The reader I typically am this would be find. Not with the Hunger Games. Best books I have ever read! I had to buy book 2 on tuesday, I will be starting book 3 tonight.

Road home from the library, 2.1 miles home.

4.1 miles today I feel amazing!

DAY 3!

2012-01-11T08:05:00.000-08:00

2.8 miles to grandma's house. Took a scenic route through town. Did have to stop for air at the gas station.

1.6 miles home from grandma's house. Yes it does totally rock to live that close to grandma! :)

4.4 miles today!!

F-1

2012-01-10T10:29:00.000-08:00

The husband is a huge F-1 fan.

I am trying to learn the sport!

Force India, UK team has 2 drivers Paul di Resta, Scottish and Nico Hulkenberg, German.

Biking day 2

2012-01-10T08:33:00.000-08:00

Hey! Look at that I made it to day 2.

I was able to get out of bed this am. Went to bed relatively early, 10 pm. Didn't read or watch tv. Slept and woke up at 7. Muscles were feeling find so I decided to go get another cup of coffee!

On the way my muscles decided to scream and me and say seriously? I kept going.

Biked 1.3 miles to the coffee shop. Today I only had 1 large cup of coffee!

Man at the coffee shop told me I HAD to go to the post office and read what was posted. Always intrigued by gossip I hopped on my bike and went to the post office.

Biked .3 miles.

There was NO juicy gossip so back on the bike.

Biked .7 miles and played in the play ground. Attempted 1 pull up.

Biked .9 miles home.

3.2 miles total and 11/2 hours.

biking

2012-01-10T08:27:00.000-08:00

Not going to have a big eloquent speach about riding my bike and getting in shape because this is me. I tend to get all hyped up and then stop. So I am biking.

Day 1
Biked 1.3 miles to the coffee shop since I was out of coffee. Drank 2 large cups of coffee
Walked across the street, played in park.
Biked .9 miles to E's school had lunch with her
biked .4 miles home.

2.6 miles.

Thursday morning update

2011-10-06T05:23:00.000-07:00

Well my mother is pissed at me for allowing E to have a sleep over at great grandma's house but not her house. She refuses to accept/admit that bad stuff happened to me and I refuse to let that happen to my child. She isn't speaking to me and I am just tired of trying and being bitched at for my parenting decisions so I am just letting some time pass before I try to call her again. Her chest pain is probably due to the radiation she is undergoing for second masectomy cancer cells getting to the surface of her skin and not healing. PET scan revealed no other cancer. The only other issues is the Fibromyalgia, which means she can't do anything.

I feel like a horrible daughter for not trying more. I am just tired. I am sick of being the strong person in this relationship. Being used all the time and not being the "child". It sucks.

Chris' grandma has been diagnosed with stage 2 liver cancer. Things are not looking good for her. Chris is down, I am down, everyone is down.

I must pull myself out of this funk. The laundry isn't getting done. The dishes keep piling up and I have not finished editing wedding pictures. I just want to sleep and eat. I just feel so disgusted with myself.

feeling good

2011-10-03T05:38:00.000-07:00

I finally mildly stood up to my mother. She yet again asked me to commit food stamp fraud. You know, because it will "help you (me) out." Selling your government issued assistance is wrong. First of all my husband's tax dollars are paying for that, since you can't manage to get a job. I told her no, I don't feel comfortable with that. Instead of the normal A fashion of going in circles and making excuses.

No. I don't want to. Why is that so hard for me to say? Even when not dealing with my mother?

I spoke with E's teacher this am. She is adjusting ok. She wasn't doing much work at the beginning of the week, but has been doing more. She took her first ever test, and it was a spelling test on Friday. I was worried because she completely bombed it, even though the night before she got every one. The teacher is great and seems willing to work with her. We will see how this all pans out.

Saturday

2011-10-02T09:41:00.000-07:00

Friday night E spent the night with my grandma. Late Friday my mom was released from the hospital. She is fine. They have no idea why she has constant pain. She has had chest pain for years. I think it is stress and stress on her body from being obese.

Saturday I tried to call to see how she was. No answer. Left about 4+ messages. Come to find out she called Friday night to find out that E was spending the night there. Yep.

So my all day Saturday calling with no answer is her being pissed off she has never had a sleep over with E. Well why exactly would I send my child to a house where I was tortured as a child till DCF took me away? Seriously?

I am so sick of every time I see her, the past being reinvented. Oh this happened and that happened and bla bla... Yep apparently I was addicted to caffeine. She found some coffee hidden in my room. It was hidden because my grandma knew I liked iced coffee as a treat. If I had put it in the kitchen the urchins she calls friends would have taken it. Apparently in Sandy world my grandparents are HORRIBLE people. Because you know they adopted her and obviously there is some kind of big conspiracy there. So what if there is. You had two loving parents who cared about you and you just threw shit in their face for 50 years now. I am so sick of her blaming them for "taking" me away. News flash, it was them or foster care because you were deemed unfit to have me. Something about beating me and the constant emotional abuse.

I refuse to continue to be victimized. The next time my mom starts reinventing the past or talking about what "happened" I am going to kindly ask her to stop. I am sick of being an emotional basket case. I want a nice relationship with her that is healthy. Asking my kids, when are you coming to grandmas house to play 10 times every time you see them is fucked up. She needs to stop and be happy she even gets to see them.

the suck

2011-09-29T12:42:00.000-07:00

So Nana is still in the hospital but that is a good thing and she is doing great! Really hoping they beef her up and she is able to go home this weekend.

Talked to my mom today. She was all wanting me and X to come over and visit. I could tell from the sound of her voice that I just didn't want to be there. My mom is bipolar. She is extremely emotional. Then she calls me at 1:45 telling me not to worry or freak out. I am sorry, please STOP starting conversations like that. Great grandma was scheduled to pick E up from school. Great Grandpa had open heart surgery last year after having a stroke months before so starting sentences with don't freak, makes me freak the shit out.

Anyway, mom is undergoing radiation. I know it sucks. She is being a trooper, but being a bit of a pain in the ass to the drs. HELLO you are getting FREE freaking medical care, be a bit appreciative ok? thanks!

So I get the call and she is all I am being admitted to the hospital for chest pains, says the out of shape recovering cancer patient. It isn't her heart and they don't think it is from the radiation, well what the shit else is it?? I think she is putting herself under undue stress.

I feel like an ungrateful ass, but if you weren't such a tool to your entire family, perhaps you would have people around and not have to get support for your "friends" in AA.

I want to love my mother. I really do. I want to forget all the shit and just play nice. I have TRIED to just play nice and she keeps bringing up shit from the past.

I am not the fucking reason you LOST Me. YOU ARE. You are the one who beat the shit out of me. You are the one who belittled me for fucking YEARS. You are the bad mother, not me. Your parents are fucking saints and you treat them like shit. Get over yourself. I am sorry you are adopted. I am sorry that you just suck. Get some meds. Get some therapy. GET HELP. Stop making me a freaking basket case every week with your issues. Oh and get a job. You had a good job and quit because sitting on your butt answering the phone was too stressful. You obviously have too much time on your hands and need to have a life goal. You will not be a stay at home grandma while I skip off to work.

You will not, I repeat NOT raise my kids instead of ME. They are my kids, just because you FUCKED up ME, and my childhood doesn't mean you get a second chance.

I am sorry you are sick. I am sorry for feeling angry. Stop reinventing the past. I know what happened. I have a photographic memory. You chose Pat over me. You chose a MAN over your kid, about 20 times. I still at the age of almost 30 have nightmares. NIGHTMARES, from my shit childhood that you think was great and I should be kinder to you.

I will speak to you. I will respect you. I will forgive you. I am trying. I really am trying. Just stop being a drama queen. Take the help I have offered. I will be a dutiful daughter. PLEASE join a cancer support group. Please get some psychiatric help. It helped me and I think I want more.

I can't help but feel like today's overly dramatic chest pains are an elaborate attempt to get me to visit. You drove yourself to the hospital, why can't you drive yourself to my house?

If you are really having issues, though 1 1/2 years ago when you went for chest pains you refused for the drs to help you, I am sorry. I don't want you to be sick. I want you to be healthy. Physically and mentally. I want you to be a mom. I want you to love me. I want you to respect me.

I have so many emotions right now I am really not sure how to properly express them.

The aftermath.

2011-09-28T13:58:00.001-07:00

So we are at 3 days in school. Elizabeth is adjusting nicely. We have the homework situation under control now. The only thing we haven't been doing is reading 15 minutes a day. I am freaking out about her first spelling test next week. She thinks school is boring and is a little upset that you just sit at your desk all day and don't speak. I think she is finally starting to "get" the difference between home school and public school. She asked last night if we could go to the beach tomorrow. I told her no since she had to go to school. Things like the beach and cool family stuff is "weekend talk". I don't think I am adjusting all that well. I am exhausted and feeling depressed. I have wedding pictures to edit, but I just don't have it in me to do it.

Chris' Nana is currently in the hospital. She fell earlier this month and just hasn't recovered well. My mom is undergoing radiation. They found cancer cells in a spot that hadn't healed post 2nd mastectomy. 6 weeks, 5 days a week.

Chris' job is in at the beginning of the end. Where do we go from here? I should be loading up the kids to take them to church tonight, but I am just so tired. I tool a bit of a nap, and Chris is still napping but it just isn't enough. Could have something to do with detoxing from caffeine.

Plan for tomorrow: morning smoothy, make lunches, do cool stuff with X. Sounds like a plan.

First Day

2011-09-26T05:16:00.001-07:00

Well I have dropped her off at school. 6 hours to sit and ponder my existence.

A new turn

2011-09-22T18:57:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth has been incredibly miserable at times. I have tried very hard to have weekly social interactions with various people yet she just isn't clicking with anyone. She also said she wanted to go back to school. So tomorrow if they will let me since it is a teacher duty day, I am going to re-enroll her at VP.

Frankly I am worried about my daughter. I have been for quite some time. Some of her behvoris and interactions with people is worrisome. A friend pointed out that perhaps we should have her evaluated really made it all come to attention to me and realize that I must do something. She plays fantastically with younger and older children just not her peers. She isn't "clicking" with anyone and doesn't have a "best friend". We have also been having some serious issues with backwards letters and identifying placement of letters in words to identify words but not sounding out the words, like Happy and play, both have the P and the Y and she gets them confused.

The only good thing is the homeschool group we have been doing things with does everything after 2, so she will still get to see her friends from there.

I worry about her starting late. I worry about them making her repeat kindergarden. She is so much bigger than the other kids yet emotionally just not there yet. It is so hard to see your child excel in some areas yet founder in others. She is bloody brilliant, just some areas need help and I don't know how to help her.

back to savings

2011-09-18T09:48:00.000-07:00

I have been a complete and total slacker when it comes to coupons. Have had more important things to do. Then when I ran out of money because we found ourselves eating out more times a week than I would like to admit I decided it was time to get back at it! Oh and we ran out of toilet paper, shampoo and such. I had not bought any of that since EASTER, yes EASTER. So today I restocked our HBA needs and hit the grocery store.

Walgreens:
Spent: $54.93
Saved: $28.57

Publix:
Spent: $74.24
Saved: $60.44

While I REALLY enjoy saving more than I spend, and really who doesn't, I think I did fairy well today considering I got fresh produce, organic milk, almond milk, shampoo, toilet paper and various other things that I haven't seen on sale in forever. So go me!! :)

2011-06-11T15:51:00.000-07:00

Still can't believe 176 people clicked the Retweeted link on twitter over the past few days. Just mind blowing. I did not win the free shirt. I did have tons of fun tweeting. Twitter with a purpose rocks. I am thinking of spamming Ron Paul for president. I LOVE RON PAUL. Yet.

Today has been a good day. Got up early. Cleaned all day. Good stuff. :)

Happy Wednesday

2011-06-08T06:36:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth and I are appearing in the children's play "The Princess and the Pea" at our local little theater. It has been a fantastic experience. I have a total of 5 lines, I play the Queen of the princess. Unfortunately being a "queen" is posing a difficulty for me. In my mind I nail it. In reality, I get all self conscious and nervous. You see being who I am is the complete opposite of a "queen". I am a wall flower who loves to talk to people. Tonight I am going in a bit early to work on my nervousness. The more times I get to do my part the better I know it will be. I just don't want to fail. I want to do a good job!

In other news my garden is dead. I fought against the stink bugs, and gave up. Surrendered my garden to them. They ate my squash, zucchini, and are now finishing off the cantaloupe. When the pests first arrived I thought they were "good" bugs because they were not eating my plants. Little did I know they suck the juices out of the plants. :(

Shameless plug

2011-06-07T06:44:00.000-07:00

Have you been to Teefury.com? Every day they feature a new and creative tshirt for $10! The catch? You have to order it that day! Here today gone tomorrow. They are usually amazing, sometimes not my style but you just have to wait a day or two and poof a new shirt.

I am a tremendously HUGE Doctor Who fan! Today's shirt has a Doctor Who design "Eleven Doctors" if features the heads with no faces of the eleven. So why am I writing about this on my blog that is sadly neglected? Because I REALLY REALLY WANT IT!!! But I don't have $10 today because I am taking my kids to the movies for the summer. I can't be all irresponsible and waste money on myself. So there is a contest the designer will be googleing today and whoever has "eleven doctors" that has been spamming about his shirt all day WINS A FREE SHIRT. So I am giving it a try. I have tweeted for about an hour and completely run out of idea.

So there you have it. My contribution to getting the word out about Teefury.com which really is a cool website! As well as my shameless "eleven doctors" attempt at winning a tshirt.

Now back to cleaning up the house and taking the kiddos to the movies. We are going to see Gulliver's Travels! http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1320261/I will be wearing a dr who shirt of course!

Why do I love Teefury.com you ask? I love the quality!! I used to buy Threadless shirts, EVERY SINGLE one would get holes. This made me angry. I was hesitant to buy more shirts online, then my husband bought the R2-D2 owners manual shirt. It rocked so I started to stalk Teefury. I have 4 Dr. Who shirts and 2 others they are all amazing and I love them. I wear them a lot because lets face it, I am a mom and it is fun to wear funky stuff to spice up life.

2 feet

2011-01-15T06:21:00.001-08:00

Google Latitudes says the hubs is 2 feet away. This makes me happy. :)

Wedding today! Then hanging out with the kiddos and hubs. :)

Not doing well.

2011-01-09T19:57:00.000-08:00

72 hours. In 72 short hours I will be ok. Right now I am so not ok. I am paranoid and tired and freaking the crap out.

I am trying to control the impulse to put everything we own in the front yard and sell it. If it wont fit in or on the minivan we don't need it. Considering the gunnie pig cage will take up most of the van this would be very little.

I hate that we can't sell our house. I hate that my family is here and I have to stay. I hate that I feel empty and lost Thankfully only at night when I should be sleeping. I am fine during the day. I have functioned very well and been very active. There just isn't much left of me.

Tonight I filled a huge 35 gallon rubber-made tub with stuff from Beth's room. James' room is up next. Thinking about setting up on Wednesday at the farmers market, would do better than a yard sale.

13 days

2011-01-02T18:31:00.000-08:00

Wonder how much trouble I can get into over the next 13 days!

I am very excited that I will be shooting a wedding on the 15th! 3 sets of engagements, 2 maternity, 1 baby, and this will be the 3rd wedding for the same family who are old family friends. My ex boyfriend's family actually and this will be his wedding. A few weeks ago I shot him, his son and pregnant fiancée. It was kinda like a maternity/engagement/child photo session all in one, kinda like a photographer hat trick. :) I love that we have been able to be on talking terms, not really "friends" but at least acquaintances.

Today I relocated the gunnie pigs. They were living in Elizabeth's room, but it just seemed too dark in there and having them in there with her playing on the floor and them throwing bedding on the ground was just too much for the OCD clean freak to handle. So now the pigs live in the kitchen, by the sliding glass door. I think I could even take the cage out on nice sunny days. The cage may have to have wheels added to the legs.

I also hung a clothes line today. It isn't tight enough and my knot is too big, but I have a clothes line!!

I really want to lay out the garden. I am planning a fenced in space and a truck load of dirt from the shed company in town. I can't wait to see what fantastic things I can grow this spring. I will be killing many grass hoppers but hopefully I can keep out the deer and bunnies with the fence and dance a jig on top of the evil grass hoppers.

Wondering what to do with all the Kale in my refrigerator! They have bogo bags of Kale at publix, and well now I have a ton of Kale and only use a cup a day in my power shakes. Need to find something else to do with it.

This week I discovered Dr. Who. Oh my. It is FANTASTIC! Watching the 2005 version on Netflix.

I am looking forward to starting doing History! I have a fantastic book and work book and I am so stinking excited!! Might even get a few other kids to do it with us! I love homeschooling. I love that Elizabeth is learning and we are spending time together. It is hard at times, but so very worth it!

Decluttering/ reducing/ planning how to move the family to Texas in a minivan so we don't have to rent a uhaul/ figuring out how to rent our house for close to the mortgage payment so we have the ability to come back to florida if we need to... all these things are more are just rolling around in my head.

I really really really want to paint the master bedroom and the living room. Since I have the ceiling paint for the bed room I guess I will start there.

20 days!

2010-11-22T18:22:00.000-08:00

I am strong, and amazing and will do fantastic... but 20 days! dude...

Grandpa is doing wonderful. He had 4 bypasses last week. We were hoping he would be returning home today, but last night he broke open his insision so who knows when he will be coming home.

Thanksgiving is so close to being cancelled, that I might as well just order chineese and be done with it, BUT it is my birthday and I am gonna freaking have mashed potatloes and gravey if it kills me. :)

so

2010-11-16T05:03:00.000-08:00

What is new with me?

*Chris left for Austin last Friday.
*Elizabeth has declared she is done with public school (Monday I withdrew her)
*Monday grandpa had an angina thing happen while at the dr. Ambulance called.
*Today, Tuesday he is having heart catheterization.

SO I am alone, needing to stimulate my daughter with educational greatness, get the house cleaned up, worrying about grandpa and just survive till Thursday. :)

Birthday!!

2010-08-08T18:43:00.000-07:00

It has been a busy busy summer here at the Duffy house. The past week we baby sat 2 kids for 4 day, and had 2 friends over, so 2 days there were 6 children in my house, and it was fun and good and no one died.

Saturday we had a joint birthday party to celebrate my sweet tiny baby girl's 5th birthday!! 5, how on EARTH did that happen?? We also celebrated my brand new baby's 1st birthday. Wasn't he JUST born like a week ago? We had a full house. There were out door activities which included a blow up bounce house water slide, water balloons and a cupcake eating contest. It feels like every birthday I learn something. Next year, some kind relative needs to be in charge of food. Every year gets better, but I fail at correctly feeding people in a timely fashion. After most of the guests went home, my 30 year old husband and his best friend took to going down the slide. They had so much fun. It has been decided that every birthday will be a water slide party. I can't wait till April so we can do it again for Chris' birthday. Why oh why do I have to be a November birthday? Growing up I always wanted a pool party. God decided to give my summer babies so I can for the rest of my life play in the water at their birthdays. :)

This coming week Elizabeth has swim lessons! Then we start Kindergarden. If someone could be so kind as to find "life's" remote would you be so kind as to hit pause...

today

2010-07-26T12:54:00.000-07:00

Today completely rocked!

We started the day with our morning routine of breakfast! Later great grandma came to watch the children while I went to the elementary school to gather information.

I came home, James went down for his nap and Elizabeth and I continued our scientific discussion on liquid, solid and gas. This time we used the children's world book encyclopedia that discussed molecules. I made up a molecule dance that we did. Then we did a science experiment watching what happened to an ice cube, butter and a penny, left on the counter then put in a pan of water. Elizabeth drew what she saw. Then we boiled water turning the liquid into a gas, caught the "gas" with the pan lid and it turned back into a liquid. We put the liquid in the freezer turning it into a solid.

Then on to play.

James took another nap so we read out of "Where the Side Walk Ends" and 2 "5 Little Monkey" stories.

Now I am going to let her play on Time4Learning.com

While I cook dinner I plan to read our bible story for the day and let her practice writing.

I call it a good day.

follow her!!

2010-07-24T15:00:00.001-07:00

The amazing, talented and cool Lea has a fantastically hilarious new blog!!! Can't wait for more sticky funnies!! http://neuroticstickgyrl.blogspot.com/

confessions

2010-07-20T08:21:00.001-07:00

I got fat. I ate what I wanted and didn't care... being in school was stressful and I got lazy...

I started to watch what I ate, used the wii fit to track my weight, not actually work out (ok some times I have but really maybe 4 times this month)

June 21st I weighed 192.5 (GASP, oh the horror)

Today I am 184.7, gave up soda, tea and coffee (have had 1 cup a week the past 2 weeks)

2 weeks ago I started using http://www.mynetdiary.com/ They have a free app for the iphone/itough.

Everything I eat goes into it. 5.3 of those pounds has been since the start of using it.

I can't believe I have lost 7.8 pound in one month!!! In 4.7 pounds I am rewarding myself with a nose ring.

I have not been at this weight since before I got pregnant with James, 2 years ago. I put on a pair of jeans yesterday and am pleased with the decrease in muffin top. Still can't get into my skinny jeans, but at least I am not cramming myself into size 16 pants.

A day in the life of me through pictures

2010-07-15T19:48:00.000-07:00

Warning the day you are about to observe is the day in the life of a mom and house wife. It is fun and quirky but potentially boring to most, continue at your own risk. Also there are super crappy original iphone pictures, the risk to my d300 during this project was not worth it. Thank you.

Every morning starts out on the wii fit. Today no work out, barely got my weight since the batteries died.

MMM Breakfast time.

I LOVE http://www.mynetdiary.com/ IT WORKS!!!

Time to feed the hi we adopted you kitties!

OH the phone rang, someone wants to buy my art!!! A woman in town BOUGHT a picture I TOOK!! Ok so it was only $10 but STILL! Had to print it and visit with her.

Snuggy nap time.

Diaper change!

The phone rings AGAIN, it is grandma, who wants to come and pick us up to go swimming!

Grandma made me lunch! Grilled Cheese

Blueberries that Esa LOVED and so did Xan. Read their stories : http://bettyandesa.blogspot.com/

I am a bit behind uploading images, but I am a busy mom.. so yeah!

Grandpa played with the boy

Finished off with a Boston Cooler! mmmm

Back home!

Time for laundry.. and more laundry, and folding laundry...

Vacuum time!

Dishwasher loading..

hmmm what's for dinner...

Supervised arts and crafts

While the boy dug out books to read

Time to wash non dishwasher dishes.

Quick reading before DADDY's HOME!!

Zooom to Tijuana flats and game stop! No more dead batteries!

Cleaned the boy's room.

Kids to bed!

Snack time, went over on the sodium (because of eating out) but HEY 72 calories left!!

more laundry.....

nevermind

2010-07-09T09:49:00.000-07:00

Weight watchers is painful. I am now on to an iphone ap! It lets me put in what I am eating and tracks the calories and other nutritional information as well as lets you put in exercise information. It even tracks drinking water, simply touch the icon when you have a glass, ensuring you get the necessary water needed daily. MyNetDiary is the coolest thing ever!!

Thursday July 8th I get 37 points, I think.

2010-07-08T08:14:00.000-07:00

Breakfast:

Organic Pumpkin Flax Plus Granola & skim milk 6 pts

Snyder's of Hanover Sticks Pretzels 28 2 pts

Lunch:

Kashi Chicken Pasta Pomodoro 5 pts

1/2 cup ice cream 3 pts

Apple 1 pt

Changs natural chicken fried rice. 7pts

8 oz apple juice 2 pts

Chargrilled chicken sandwich 5 pts

nothing like procrastination

2010-06-25T09:29:00.000-07:00

http://bettyandesa.blogspot.com/

Chris made www.uglystravels.com

Beth wanted her own ugly and thus Esa came home with us! :) I am going to make it clothes and take pictures of her with Beth. It seems to be the prop Beth needs to be willing to have me photograph her. You do what you have to do..

trying to fly...

2010-05-18T05:40:00.000-07:00

This is the PLAN!!!

Amazingly I was totally psyched up to do this on Sunday. Monday hit and well I got distracted.

Somehow I did managed to achieve mondays goals!! I filled 2 trash bags with garbage from the evil pile of clutter in the kitchen. Also I have 2 grocery bags of stuff to donate. See instead of tackling one room at a time I have found it better to you know de-clutter a room and put all the homeless stuff in one giant pile. This is not a good idea. You end up with a giant glacier of crap.

Thanks to Elizabeth throwing up in the bathroom with the toilet lid down, the bath room got a much needed cleaning last night. So it seems I am off to a smashing good start!

Today I am off to make my list of stuff we need and attack the pile with more vengeance. :)

Sneak Peek for the Week: May 16-22, 2010

This Week we are in: Zone 3 - The Main Bathroom & Guest/Extra Room area

Habit for May: Moving in May http://www.flylady.net/pages/focus_may.asp

Zone 3: Mission #1 Monday

Dear Friends:

This week we are in the bathroom and another room. The other room will be our
Guest Room/ area! This means whatever room that you have that is your dumping ground.
For most people it would be the guest room/area.

Bathroom:

Clear off the Hotspots that have gathered on the back of the tub and the
bathroom sink tops.

Guest/Extra Room

Grab a bag and do a 27 fling boogie of things to throw away. The things that
are obvious trash. We are not doing anything other than getting rid of things
to toss. Set your timer for 15 minutes and do as many 27 flings as you can!
Have fun with these missions!

Kelly

Zone 3: Mission #2 Tuesday

Dear Friends:

For the Bathroom:

Check the supplies that are needed in your bathroom. Do you need toilet paper,
toothpaste, shampoo, mouthwash, soap etc. Add these to your shopping list this
week. Take a visual inventory to make sure you have what you need so one of your
family members are not stuck in the bathroom yelling for toilet paper, nothing
says "I Love You" like plenty of toilet paper! LOL!

Guest/Extra Room:

Another 27 Fling Boogie but this time with things that need to be put away into
other areas of the house. Get a box or bag and put the things that have obvious
homes and place them in the box or bag. Then go deliver them to their proper
homes.
Have fun!

Kelly

Zone 3: Mission #3 Wednesday

Dear Friends:

Bathroom Mission: Today you are to wash your bathroom rugs, shower curtains and
accessories. This will take longer than 15 minutes and for those of you that are
working outside the home you may have to schedule this out over the next few
days. In total to take the rugs to the machine and bring them back to the
bathroom is less than 15 minutes but the wait time for the washing machine and
dryer will take up some time.

Guest/Extra Room:

Back in we go - can we say 27 Fling again? This time we are
going to gather up 27 things to give away. Things that have gotten tossed in
this room that we no longer love, need or use. After you have completed this
take the bag straight to the car to drop off at a donation location of your
choice.

Kelly

Zone 3: Mission #4 Thursday

Dear Friends:

For the bathroom today, take 10 minutes to toss old cosmetics and perfumes. If
you have these items that you have not used for over a year but they are still
hanging around, it is time to dump them.

Let's dump those lipsticks, mascaras and eye-shadows that we have held on to
since high school and college. The key to what to not to keep is:
If you have not worn anything in the past year then....... TOSS TOSS TOSS!

Most cosmetics have a limited shelf life and are harboring grounds for bacteria.
This also applies to lotions and moisturizers.

For the Guest/Extra Room:

If you have noticed the trend that we are working on in this room - it is
de-cluttering! With BabySteps. We are going back in this room for our last 27
fling boogie! Once again look for 27 things that need to be put away. Are
there some clothing items that have been dumped? Coats that need to be hung up?
Books that need to go back to the book shelf? Just 27 things put away
throughout the house back where they belong.

Happy Flinging!
Kelly

Zone 3: Mission #5 Friday

Dear Friends:

Today I want you to grab those old toothbrushes that you have just for cleaning
and scrub those sink faucets and tub faucets. It is amazing how gross those
faucets can get! Just a little soap and water with the toothbrush will make a
huge difference! I know this is one of those missions that makes you groan but it
takes less than 5 minutes to do and those faucets will shine!

For the Guest/Extra Room:

It does not mater if you still have clutter in this room, after this week of
missions you have made a dent in it and you now know the BabySteps to use to
continue de-cluttering. Today you are going to vacuum the floor. Even if there
is only a little bit of floor showing that is fine. Just vacuum what you can.
When we can see we are making progress we are able to stay motivated and not
feel defeated.

Remember, Progress not Perfection!
Have fun!
Kelly

FLYSHOP Tools:
Rubba Sweepa http://www.flylady.net/pages/flyshop_rubba_sweepa.asp
Detail Dusting Mitt: http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyShop_d_duster.asp
Stainless Steel Water Bottle:
http://www.flylady.net/pages/FlyShop_swb.asp

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http://www.facebook.com/GivingYourChildrenWings?ref=s

Sunday!

2010-04-11T10:58:00.000-07:00

Today has been a lovely day! Breakfast with the Duffys at cracker-barrel. Elizabeth loves pancakes now! It is amazing how when we try new things we might just like them!

Yesterday I found the kitchen and deep cleaned the bathroom. Today it looks like laundry is calling my name. Cruel, cruel laundry. Seriously can't we just join a nudist colony? I think we just have too many outfits. In my section of the closet, there is very few things that fit me. The things that do have mysterious holes in them. I hate holes. I am now being extremely strict with things that have zippers, they get washed all by themselves!

So a folding I will go!

2010-04-10T12:07:00.000-07:00

Today we hunted flowers. There is wisteria all over lake helen. We took a clipping, only to discover that it is considered an invasive plant here in Florida. I think we still might try to get a plant started. It would really brighten up our yard in the spring.

Elizabeth has decided that we need to be a gardening family. We have planted lettuce and cantaloupe so far. Unfortunately this means all our good dirt has been used so we need to truck in some more. She has spent all morning digging holes and transplanting wild flowers. Her way is picking a flower and then replanting it (without the roots) Maybe by the end of summer she will understand root systems and how plants work.. :)

I DID IT!!!!!!

2010-02-06T19:19:00.001-08:00

I processed film. At home, alone, in the bathroom!!!! :)

I may just explode.

Oh and I need a scanner, preferably a slide/film one!! OMG OMG I wanna see them like you know on a computer where they belong.... :(

happy friday!

2010-02-05T18:42:00.000-08:00

I am so happy today is friday!!

It was a really great day! Kept beth home from school and we went on an adventure, walking to the park. It was fun but the weather turned nasty so we had to rush home.

Also accomplished putting away a mountain of laundry. There is more to be put away and I REALLY need to wash diapers, but it is all about baby steps.

This evening when chris made it home he asked if I wanted anything. Well of course I was craving a frosty from wendys. So off we went. Beth had to get out of her jammies. She got all dressed up complete with a hat and modeled for us. She is such a character. She likes to be "fashionie." So off we went for frosty and gas. My darling husband gets out of the car to pump and hands me a black box. He bought me real live diamond earrings. They are absolutely beautiful. As crazy as it sounds something as "small" as a pair of earrings can really change your mood. I don't mean in a materialistic selfish way. I just mean there seems to be a bit of a spring in my step. They could have been made out of clay and shoe polish, it is just that my sweet husband bought me something he knew I would love! Oh and he managed to surprise me. Something that is all together difficult, yet there have been LOTS of surprises in the past few weeks.

So we come home and get the little ones to bed. Perfect time to dye my hair. (like I said spring in my step!) I used my time wisely. 25 minutes of dye meant that the bath room got deep cleaned. So now I look fabulous and have a clean bathroom which continues the cycle of looking good since I will want to be in there to make myself as such....

James seems to be on the mend. He is a completely new little boy. All happy and willing to play.

This weekend is going to be a bit nutty. I have a home work assignment to complete and need to develop the film sunday night.

ready set GO weekend!!! :)

cha cha cha cha changes!

2010-01-23T17:04:00.000-08:00

So for the first time in an extremely long time both of my children are asleep, in their own beds. I am not passed out giving me the opportunity to type out some of the crazy thoughts running through my head.

This past week was just fabulous! We had Brendan stay with us. He is 8 and Beth adores him. They played and he was a super big help distracting entertaining the kids. Chris made a huge decision and traded in his beloved GTI for a honda fit. It is shiny and beautiful and runs on rice. Seriously, $20 to fill up! Goes about 350 miles.We just put our first tank of gas in it so we will see what kind of numbers we can get when all the miles are ours.

Yesterday Chris got Ann from the air port and came home with an 18-250 lens for me. Can we say OMFG. He just waltzed into Colonial photo and picked out a lens for me. DUDE. I am so in LOVE with my new lens! It has VRish going on!!! I am so excited for my new low light possibilities.

Can we say SPOILED? I have the sweetest, kindest, most wondrous husband. Not only does he got to work every day, pay all our bills allowing me to be a stay at home mom and perpetual student but then gets me gifts? Seriously?? Gifts? I already have the 2 most precious gifts, my daughter and son. Lets add a new car with 4 fucking doors instead of 2, cheaper car ins and cheaper gas and an insane lens. I am the luckiest woman in the world and I know it. :). I will try really really hard to stop taking telephoto pictures of his pores with my snazy kick ass new lens.

I love my husband more than words can express. Not just because he treats me like a green eyed goddess, but because he knows me. He knows me better than me and isn't afraid to tell me when I am going in the wrong direction. He also forgives me when I buy a bird and realize it was a horrid mistake. He eats my burnt toast. Hell he will eat just about anything I put in front of him, except fake meat and only because it made him sick. He has built me up to the amazing person that I am today. I was a crumpled mess when he found me and today, well today I am a pretty cool person who isn't all that afraid of the world. I am loved. I am safe. And most of all I am LOVED. At the end of the day that is what is most important. He loves me enough to sleep for months in James' room and let me have the comfy bed. He takes care of me when I am sick. My favorite times are those I spend with my babies and my Chris. I love driving around and talking to my husband while the kiddos sore in the back seat. I have the most wonderful life. I am so very blessed.

SO I am a student again!! I am doing the photo program at DSC. I am going to kick ass and take names. I am going to learn all sorts of cool things! I am going to conquer my fear of processing my own film and in the summer I will process color fill and not have a heart attack. When I loose a roll of film I will not cry, but simply go back out and take more shots... :) Apparently half way through the class we switch to digital. This is what I am stoked about!! I can't wait to learn all the cool stuff I know I am going to learn. I am not going to be afraid. I will find my style and experiment with new ones. I will get better. I have the eye I just need some fine tuning.

My little girl is 4.5 and my baby boy is 6 months old. In 7 short months Beth starts kindergarden. Kindergarden, I am going to have a kindergardener. WOW, I am getting old. Didn't I like just graduate from high school??

I am working on getting organized. My perpetual challenge. I have a pile of stuff that needs to get listed on ebay, but I also have a love seat piled up with clean clothes. Phew. I am trying out the fly lady. I think I may need to read on her site a bit more... I am trying to find the balance of keeping the kids happy and the house clean. James and been teething and I had a car last week so the house exploded.

Off to shine my sink and hit the sack!

lots o stuff!

2010-01-17T08:59:00.001-08:00

Let's see, I was in the hospital with gall stones
It snowed
I start school on wednesday
my son is growing at an alarming rate
not really sure when my little girl got so big.
Having a restful sunday.

lines in the sand?

2009-12-27T20:26:00.000-08:00

When is enough enough?

How far can a soul be scratched and maimed before it is no longer repairable?

My entire life I have been ridiculed, belittled, beaten and made to feel worthless. Yet every time I would pull myself back together and try again. Like a piece of silly putty I would kneed myself and make myself whole again. Never quite as shiny as when freshly opened, but after so many years who really remembers the "new"?

Who knows why but I chose Christmas day to be done. I have no desire to "try" any longer. The only reason my mother ever calls is when she needs me to find a phone number for her online. Seriously. Never a hi how are you can I come and see the kids.... She regularly visits my grandma on Wednesdays after the market. Drives past my house 2x's a week for church, yet can't afford the gas money to come and see her grandbabies. Yet I am supposed to drop everything and take them to her house. A place where I don't feel save and the demons of my child hood live.

So after over a week of unreturned phone calls and an utterly miserable Christmas morning, I am done. I am done trying to have the relationship of a traditional mother and daughter. I am done trying to make it something that it is not. I am simply an object to be used, not a person to be loved. I can no longer waste my worry space with how to make things right. After 28 years of fighting to be accepted, I have discovered that the only acceptance that matters is my own, followed by my husbands and my children's then my grandparents.... If we 6 can love me and be proud of me the woman who gave me life yet continues to belittle my existence really doesn't matter.

So instead of trying to make my mom the mother I desire, I will be that mom to my children, yet better. I will love them, encourage them, care about them. I will listen to them, be there for them and do my best to raise them to be loving and kind people. The last thing this world needs is more hate. I am done hating myself for something I have no control over.

In the end it was the little things that made my decision. There was no big explosion, just lots of little sparks that burned out my light of hopes/wishes/dreams of a real mother. I refuse to hate her. I will talk to her and let her see the kids if she ever bothers to call or show an interest. I am done trying to force us on her, and force love out of her. One can not give what they don't have.

I am Amy, wife, mother, survivor.

Stupid piece of shit

2009-12-23T18:09:00.000-08:00

The ONE time I go to walmart, with my mother printing her wedding pictures... I buy the first christmas present of the year. For grandmother, a $10 digital picture key chain. Does it fucking work? NO.... I am so pissed BEYOND BELIEF. Not only does the screen thing COME the freak off (I stuck it back on) the images once loaded onto it are so pixilated that you can't see the image. No I don't expect it to be good quality, it is a key chain. BUT I do expect to be able to tell who is in the picture... GAH. I am so angry.

Here ends my rant. I feel better... :)

my life in pictures from Lake Helen FL

2009-12-14T10:01:00.000-08:00

HI! my name is Amy. I live in a small rural town with cows, orange trees and less than 3000 people.

DeLand, FL where I grew up

It is a super cute town.

Home to Cliff's Books

Then I got married To Chris who is a kind and caring sweet guy/pilot/geek/IT guy/car guy/electronics genius

We went to school, moved all over the place and then finally bought a house in Lake Helen, FL

There are lots of cool old houses. Every 2 years a tour of homes is hosted.

We have parades

Every year everyone meets in the park to light the tree.

There are beautiful springs in near by parks.

Sunsets

30 minutes from the beach

An hour from mickey

About an hour and a half from space shuttles

I take pictures

Chris Races Cars

We have 2 beautiful children

Elizabeth

James

Gizmo the cat

After 9 years, I finally just finished my BAS degree in May, here I am pregnant in converse sneakers graduating.

My children are my everything!

I have a bit of a crazy dysfunctional mixed up past. The past 10 years have been absolutely fabulous! All of my dreams have come true. I am safe, happy and loved. I am working on the next chapter of my life.

I used to be pretty active at http://www.flickr.com/photos/duffyimages/ but have been a big time slacker. I really would love to blog more about my life/thoughts, but always get distracted by life.

Wet bag of power!!

2009-10-15T07:18:00.000-07:00

So in the land of children things get wet. Cloth diapering equates to even more wet things. Baby James is 3 months old now and has been exclusively in cloth for 2 months now. For the past 2 months I have quested for an affordable good working wet bag. I turned to Etsy and found a fabulous Canadian WHAM who makes great wet bags! The bag is made entirely of PUL with a zipper. She does have fabulous colors to choose from. They are bright and vibrant. I like the simplicity of it. Some wet bags come with cloth on the outside, cute but generally have wicking issues. My bag is pretty yet functional and dependable.

The best news about this wet bag is the fact that I can fit 4 pocketed one size fits all diapers in it! I got 3 bum genius and 1 fuzzi bunz in this bad boy. Granted they were clean and dry, but still it can hold a good amount of cloth. She makes wet bags in small, medium and large. I purchased a small wet bag in sky blue and it is absolutely beautiful!

http://www.weeones.biz/joomla/

coping with disfigurement

2009-10-06T12:44:00.001-07:00

I am so sad right now. I have played phone tag with drs, OBs and general surgeons. I finally found someone that has done the repair I need and it is $1000 just for their services. Not including the operating room/hospital and such. I will never have an extra $1000 to just throw away.

I hate that I am broken. I hate that it still hurts. I feel ugly and disgusting and there is nothing I can do about it.

I blame myself. I pushed too much. I freaked out and just wanted the baby out. I let go of my self control and just let my body take over. I hate myself and I just want to be whole again.

4 year old's brain

2009-09-07T10:00:00.000-07:00

(Early in the morning)
Chris (to Amy): I have to go to Radio Shack and pick up a coupler for -
Beth: I WANNA GO!
Chris (to Amy): so I can replace the switch in
Beth: I WANNA GO TO RADEO SHACK!
Chris (to Amy): in the closest so I can
Beth: I WANNA GO!
Chris (to Amy): use that switch in the garage.

(five minutes ago)
Chris (to Beth): Ok get your shoes on were gonna go.
Beth: Where we goin?
Chris: Radio Shack!
Beth: I don't wanna go to radeo shack.
Chris: Well we're going so get your shoes.
Beth: I HATE RADEO SHACK! .... I wanna go to Barbara's house.

So much I don't know where to begin...

2009-09-06T11:21:00.001-07:00

First of all I had a fabulous day in church! Now that Beth is 4 she has to come with us. No longer allowed to stay in the nursery. Granted she was the ONLY child ever in the nursery at 11, and they still have to pay the staffers to be there, so I REALLY don't see the big deal. So we are bearing through it.

The pastor is doing a series on generation. The jist is that 18-30 year olds leave the church and how do we get them to stay? How do we keep them?? All I know is my personal experience. When I had Elizabeth, I felt like I couldn't attend church. She was exclusively breast fed. After a few Sundays of trying to give her a bottle during church, her screaming in the nursery while I was in church I gave up. It was just easier to stay home. If I had just not been embarrassed by breast feeding in church I don't think I would have drifted away. Church is a habit. Once you stop, it is hard to start again. Beth has been going to church with great grandma every sunday for over a year now. She loved it. Sunday school then playing in the nursery with Miss Violetta. I swear I love that woman! Anyway now that she is 4 I just can't see throwing grandma to the wolves and her wrangling Beth in church. So last week was our first Sunday back. Baptized the baby. I HAD to go this week. I knew Beth would act out and if I didn't go we would not control the situation and she would just do it again next week.

Last week I was faced with nursing in church. I did it. Breast feeding a second child is so much simpler. You aren't afraid of what people will say. Frankly you don't care. It is either nurse the baby or the baby disrupt things. With Beth I hid in the back. This week we were in the second row. He ate then was totally happy the rest of the time, just like last week. Beth had the wiggles, but by the sermon she was sitting cross-legged and listening. Things would have gone better but she refused breakfast this am. So she was hungry and trying to con grandma into purse candy. Mommy said NO. Poor grandma, every one has such a hard time telling her no which is why I have to constantly tell her no, if that makes any sense. If she was given candy in church next week she would refuse breakfast again and expect candy.

So this week we broke our bad habits. Beth learned that the wiggles don't lead to fun time in the nursery. She also learned that eating before church or anytime is a good idea. So I doubt she will turn down breakfast tomorrow (she did have a yogurt so she wasn't COMPLETELY starving). I learned that it is OK to go to church with your tiny baby. I highly doubt God will mind me nursing in church. After all, he made me, gave me children and the ability to feed them. I am not afraid to nurse in front of God and everyone else. :) I am looking forward to attending again next week. I hope by the new year, I wont be making that resolution to go to church. I will instead be confirming positive life choices that I started randomly in the middle of the year. New day, new month, new start.

On to the generations bit. I strongly feel that I missed out. I didn't ever fit in with the youth. I preferred to spend my Sundays helping Miss Donna with her pre school sunday school class. After all to do youth meant going to the contemporary service and sunday school at 11. I liked to go to 11 service with grandma. So that is what I did. I hung out with little kids then snuggled next to grandma in church. It was nice. As I got older I found that there was no one left my age. All my "friends" or people my age had gone off to school. The college kids there were Stetson kids, rich, popular and I was unwilling to try to make friends since obviously I wasn't good enough. (my own doubts and self consciousness) After we got married Chris and I moved away. We found the Methodist church in Sanford. We loved the people. It was a VERY small church and it was nice. We eventually drifted away after we moved 80 times. Well now we are back in range of FUMC DeLand. The church of my childhood, where we got married and our babies were baptized. I love the people. I want to be more active. I want to get to know people there. Unfortunately I still feel out of the loop. I don't "fit in". Chris and I both are traditionalists. We don't go to church to listen to drums. We want to listen to the old hymns. So this leaves us with Beth wanting to go to Sunday school and there being nothing for us to do for an hour. I don't fit in with the other people my age STILL. I would prefer to have a conversation with an 80 year old woman than a 20 something. Most of the 20 somethings are without children. Perhaps there are some members like us. One never knows. I can't be the only freak.

So what do I want to do about this?? I would love to find out if there is an empty room at 9:45. Maybe I will just go and sit there for an hour. Maybe other mommies and daddies will join me while their kids are in sunday school. I have a dream of others like me having a bible study group. I also have a dream that their kids can go to "children's church" like we had when I was a kids. We would have the children's sermon then the kids would leave for the sermon. I thought it was great. We would be in church for the singing and the beginning of the service, but we weren't there to aggravate the adults, so they could pay attention during the sermon. Again, I can't be the only one. There must be others like me. I refuse to conform to the standard model of I am young so obviously I will enjoy contemporary worship.

nappies!

2009-08-18T10:48:00.000-07:00

I have decided I like nappies instead of "diapers." Xander was given 3 bumgenious nappies! Then I bought a $100 gift certificate for $50, allowing me to purchase 4 one size fits all FuzziBunz nappies and a dirty nappy bag. Xander was given $100 so we purchased 6 more Bum Genious nappies and got one free! So now we have 14 one size fits all nappies that he can wear now! I plan to was in the evenings and hang to dry before bed. When he is bigger we have more cloth nappies that were given to us from a friend so I will be able to wash every other day. I am really loving the concept of one size fits all!! You just adjust the nappy as the baby grows! Giving them a custom fit.

I am so very excited that we will no longer have to purchase disposable diapers. I calculated our current usage and it would run us about $50 a month! That would be at least $1800 before he is potty trained. I think my calculations are off because online it says that cloth will save you $3500!!! On top of all the space we will be saving in the old trash can and land fill!

All I have to do is make a wet bag and I am good to go!! I can't wait till the sheets are out of the washer so I can wash these and get em dry before tomorrow!!!! I think Xander's skin will be SO much happier in cloth.

Off to restructure the baby dresser!!

Because I am a DORK but so interesting!

2009-08-16T09:50:00.001-07:00

http://www.joshhosler.biz/NumberOneInHistory/SelectMonth.htm

Got to thinking what was the Number 1 song when I was born, what about Chris? Elizabeth? Xander?? I think it is sad that the boys have cool songs but the girl songs are kinda sucky..

Amy: Physical by Olivia Newton-John
Christopher: Call me by Blondie
Elizabeth: We Belong Together by Mariah Carey
Xander: I Gotta Feeling by the Black Eyed Peas

My daughter the con artist

2009-08-11T11:14:00.001-07:00

I had begun to not be able to tell the difference between "baked" cheeto's and the real ones. The fake good for you ones that contain no preservatives and kinda taste like cardboard, yeah we were getting along grand. Could handle just eating a few with a sandwich. Then today Elizabeth con-ed great grandma into taking her to publix for the free cookie. She came home with a sprite, and a cylinder of cheetos. OMG. REAL cheetos. They are so stinking YUMMY. Grandma also brought me a coke. Perhaps it had something to do with the bags under my eyes or the zombie like speech. So I have been bad today. Coke with it's evil high fructose corn syrup and caffeine AND real cheetos. I feel like I need to go jog a mile, though in reality I can't get the partially hydrogenated oil out of my arteries now that it is there.

Guess I will file the guilt away with the garbage guilt. I can't believe the trash men took my pile of leaves and clippings with the trash!!! The leaves would have been better staying in my yard. Guess it is time to start composting!!

hmmmmm

2009-08-10T06:22:00.001-07:00

Tv and cable contest!!! Chris made a funny video! :)

2009-07-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

Family, Friends, People of the Internet: Please help me win a TV.

My Cable company is having a contest - details here - http://www.brighthouse.com/products/century.aspx - and I have entered a video in an attempt to win. It's very rare that I enter contests because they are so difficult to win, but I think I have a real chance at this one.

From what I can tell it's a basic popularity contest, so I need as many people as possible to watch my video. Please click this link, watch my video, and share with others:

http://tinyurl.com/tv-for-chris

The important part is number of views- so send the link to everyone you can. However, if you are really bored (Or really want to help out) you can sign up for a free account on the contest site and therefore be able to Rate my video. The more five star ratings I get, the better.

Thanks for your help. If I win, I will allow you to ... view... the TV next time you come over. Thanks again.

what is happening with us

2009-07-20T20:09:00.000-07:00

So tomorrow is my grandpa's 80's birthday!! I am so excited. We are all going out to breakfast at 9 am. I think that means I have to be up at 7 to make it happen. We are getting better at getting up and dressed and out the door. It is a delicate balance of me peeing/baby being clean and full of milk and asleep sorta before being put in the car seat and out the door. I am so grateful that beth can get herself ready for the most part!! She has been such an amazing trooper through all this new baby stuff!

Today was our first full day with out chris. I had a horrible migraine and my dear daughter was more than happy to watch cartoons while I took a nap! Such a trooper. She also was kind enough to hold her brother while I went to the bathroom. She insisted on going into the bathroom with me, so I had her sit on the floor and hold him. I couldn't stand to leave him screaming in his bouncy or bed. We did learn that he likes the sound of the toilet flushing. After work we treked over to the birthing center and my fabulous midwife sewed my girlie bits back together. I have come to accept that what ever happens will happen and I will be fine with it.

Sunday Beth went to church with grandma and we had a catch up day! It was fabulous. Chris also tore apart our living room tv set up and made an entertaining video in an attempt to win a free tv/cable. James also lost his belly button and had his first bath.

Saturday bunches of family came to see the little dude! Nana, Cindy, Barbara, my mom, Shirley and Bud all stopped in. Nana and Cindy got beth a little boy baby alive that pees and has boy bits. She named him james and loves that she can take care of her "noisy baby." At least someone is getting use out of the baby swing! LOL It was so very nice to see everyone! Everyone was so sweet to beth. They didn't just go OOO baby and not pay attention to her. I was very pleased.

In other news James has a little body guard. Gizmo follows him around everywhere!! If he is asleep she is in the bed room. If I am in the living room with him there she is. This is shocking for my chicken cat.

We are still home bound for the most part. Can't be out for more than 2 hours and chris wont let me drive till it has been 2 weeks at least. I respect that, I really have no desire to drive yet. I want to keep my babies safe and for right now that means chris drives. He is so much better at it anyway! Oh and the little dude is pretty much 2 hours of constant eating followed by 2 hours of sleep preferably being held...

thursday thoughts

2009-07-16T18:40:00.000-07:00

So I got to go to the dr today and have him all checked out! He is doing fabulous. He had lost 5% of his body weight on monday, from being born on friday (apparently loosing 10% is normal). By today he weighed 9lb 2 oz. He is 1 oz over his birth weight and not even a week old. I am so very proud. I really like the Lake Mary Pediatrics. They were all so very friendly and the facility was clean!! I am not looking forward to two more dr visits this month, one for james and one for beth but it is what it is.

I was feeling a bit up to going to a store so we hit the evil walmart for necessities on the way home. It is still very important for me to go to the bath room in my own house so I wont be going out anymore till I am better healed. Walking in walmart was tiring and painful. The rest of my body feels great it is just the girlie bits that are still suffering.

I have so much to do and so little time! Grad school to apply for! VPK facility that I like to find and so much more. I am so grateful for my wonderful husband who loves me and supports everything that I do. This past week our team work relationship has shined! Everything and everyone has been taken care of to the fullest. I am so happy with our little family. I am looking forward to sharing it with the rest of the family. We are so very blessed to live so close to and still have 4 sets of great grandparents!! Saturday we will host a sip n see so they can all come and snuggle little james. The bonds of family are very important to us. Elizabeth is named after my grandma Betty and James is named after Chris' grandpa who died when he was a boy. They are both amazing people that touched our lives and we are happy to be able to honor them with the names of our children.

why can't it just seems wrong be enough of a reason?

2009-07-16T14:23:00.000-07:00

I love dr sears.

He says I don't have to and we don't feel like messing with how God made him...

DECIDING WHETHER OR NOT TO CIRCUMCISE YOUR BABY BOY

This is a decision that many parents face. There are many misconceptions and out-of-date information that parents may read. Here is a summary of the pertinent issues that you should consider when making this decision.

1. Medical benefits - THERE ARE NONE! Do not circumcise your baby because you think there are some medical benefits. A recent review by the American Academy of Pediatrics looked at all the data from the past decades to see if there truly were any medical benefits. Their conclusion - NO. There are no significant medical benefits that make circumcision worth doing. Here are a few benefits that we used to think were true, and now know are not.

* Cleanliness - although it is true, a circumcised penis does not collect any white stuff underneath the foreskin like an intact penis does, THIS IS NOT A MEDICAL BENEFIT. It is really just one less area to wash in the shower.

* Decreased risk of STD's - this was a myth that we now know is not true.

* Decreased risk of penile cancer - it used to be thought that circumcised men had a much lower chance of cancer of the penis. We now know that this benefit is much smaller than previously thought. The AAP determined that this benefit is so tiny, it is not worth circumcising for this reason.

* Avoiding infections in the foreskin - it is true, occasionally intact foreskins get irritated. This is easily treated with warms soaks and washing. Rarely, the irritated foreskin becomes infected. This requires antibiotics to clear up, but is easily treatable. Even if this does happen once or twice in a person's life, it is not a reason to circumcise at birth.

* Avoiding the need to do it later on - very rarely, someone has a problem with recurrent infections in the foreskin that need antibiotic treatment. Some of these men then need to be circumcised in an operating room under general anesthesia. This is extremely rare, however, and is not a reason to circumcise everyone at birth.

* Avoiding bladder infections - it used to thought that circumcised boys and men had a much lower chance of bladder infections. The AAP now knows that this benefit is very small, and is only true for the first few years of life. After that, there is no difference in the number of bladder infections. Again, not a reason to circumcise.

THEREFORE, IF YOU DECIDE TO CIRCUMCISE YOUR CHILD, DO NOT DO SO BECAUSE YOU THINK THERE IS ANY MEDICAL BENEFIT.
2. Religious reasons - some people choose to circumcise for religious or cultural reasons. This is a personal decision.

3. Don't want to be teased - while this may have been true in the U.S. decades ago, the truth is that your uncircumcised kids will be in good company in the locker room when they are teenagers. Less and less people in the U.S. are now circumcising their boys.

4. Too much trouble to take care of - some people think that an intact penis is too much trouble to pull back and clean, especially during childhood. Well, the truth is, you are not even supposed to pull back the foreskin until it naturally comes back on its own between age 3 years and adolescence. So there really isn't anything to even take care of until then.

5. Want your boy to look like dad - the main difference that your child will notice between him and dad is the hair. He won't even notice any difference in the penis until he is old enough that you can then explain to him the difference.

So, what are the reasons TO circumcise? Here is the list:
Religious reasons - as discussed above.

That is all. There really is no good reason to circumcise other that personal preference and religious reasons.

Are there any reasons NOT to circumcise? Consider these:

1. Leave nature alone - whether you believe God created men with a foreskin, or nature simply evolved this way, there must be some reason men have foreskins. Why change something that God/nature has created?

2. Sensation and sexual pleasure - the foreskin is filled with nerves, and is therefore extremely sensitive to touch. This enhances sexual pleasure.

3. Protects the glans (head) of the penis - the glans is another highly sensitive area. The foreskin protects the glans from constant rubbing and chaffing against clothing that can desensitize it over the years. This preserves sexual pleasure.

4. Ethical issues - there are groups of people worldwide, including medical societies, that oppose routine circumcision because they feel it is unethical for a parent to decide to alter the penis of their child without the child's consent. Parents who are deciding whether or not to circumcise their son may wish to consider the impact this may have in the future if the child decides they wish they were not circumcised.

So, when making this decision, the first thing to ask yourself is this - "Do I have any good reason to circumcise my baby?" If your answer is for religious reasons, then follow your faith. If not, and you can't think of any other significant reason other than just "because", then consider the above information as you make your decision.

James

2009-07-13T07:46:00.001-07:00

DSC_3727
Originally uploaded by duffyimages

So this little man is so hard to take pictures of! I feel so guilty because there were SO many pictures of beth taken in the hospital and this dude has maybe 20 pictures and none of them are fabulous. This is really annoying me! LOL

He opened his eyes and looked out the window for about 5 minutes before going right back to eating. Last night my milk came in super great, It was slowly increasing all day. This is what happens when there is a little man attached for 4+ hours at a time. Two sucks of real flow and he was OUT for an hour. It was hilarious. Then he woke up and was so excited by the abundance of food that he ate continuously from 1-5 am before we both fell asleep and had "good sleep" instead of half asleep it will do sleep.

Beth is adjusting very well. We have to keep reminding her that he is tiny and we have to be careful. She built him a fort out of pillows after she woke me up at 7. I stayed in bed and explained to her why he couldn't join her in the pillow fort. We three hung out in bed for a few hours and are now emerging to start the day.

I hope the baby starts to sleep a bit better so chris doesn't have to spend the whole night on the couch! James and I take up the whole bed. I put him in the middle and when it is time to change sides I use the opportunity to get up for a bathroom break, otherwise I would never get to pee! It is easier to switch sides of the bed than to move him.

Last night I pulled out my sling. It is so nice to have arms again! Hopefully I will get to write out my birth story today! After we get home from the midwife check up and have had a nap! :)

My birth according to chris

2009-07-12T08:07:00.000-07:00

Ok two different emails chris sent and I liked them both! Too difficult to make them into one, so here ya go! Will get my perspective when there isn't a little man attached to my boob. This is my first time back at the computer and typing with one hand is tricky! LOL

So, I'm only just now getting back to a computer and sending out (somewhat) proper announcements. It's been a busy few days. Few weeks, for that matter.

Amy went into labor several times- but they all stalled at about the same point because her water never broke. Thursday night was the last of those times, because after she stalled for a few hours, the midwife broke her water. Two hours of ridiculously difficult labor later, we had our boy. 11:32 AM on Friday, 07/10/09. James Alexander Duffy. Things went so well that we were back home less than five hours later.

He was 9 pounds, 1 ounce at birth and is likely significantly more than that now. All he does is eat. He's very alert, very strong - already lifting his head and looking around - and generally as good and healthy as a newborn can be.

Amy is in equally good shape. She's not on any hard pain killers, everything is going back how it should, etc.

The boyness was a surprise. Don't trust technology, and certainly don't trust student ultrasound operators. The general consensus is that it was a good surprise, though it does mean that his favorite hat at the moment is pink.

Elizabeth, the almost-four-year-old big sister, who was expecting a little sister, was quite upset initially that she ended up with a brother. However once she met him, she's absolutely ecstatic over having a little brother. She's been helping out a lot, asking a lot of questions, and telling everyone she sees about him. She even went and found her favorite baby blanket and gave it to him - "It's his now, he can have it." It's purple, but at least it goes well with the hat.

We've had a lot of visitors recently, and will likely have a few more tomorrow. James and Amy have doctor appointments on Monday and Tuesday for checkups. Amy can't drive for two weeks so I will be taking them where ever they need to go, but should be still largely available via phone and email.

Thank you all for your support and blessings. It's been wonderful bringing our son into the world, and each and every one of you have been part of it.

Ok. Details. Firstly, I've been in a very weird place the past few days, not wanting anything to do with technology. I was kinda headed into a slump already... I was actively fighting it off but not succeeding to well. Anyhow. This resulted in a large lack of technology at the birth, there's few pictures and no video of the new child yet. Also lack of correspondence. I was able to twitter from the iPhone which also updates my facebook- that's pretty much all we did.

The numbers:

11:32 AM 07/10/09, two hours (of ridiculously hard) labor after the midwife broke the water. This was important because Amy had a bit too much water, which wasn't breaking on it's own- so several times she had gone into labor, and everything stopped- because everything stayed intact.

James had the cord wrapped around his neck 2.5 times. Not tightly, wasn't a problem, midwife untangled as needed. Probably would have caused sheer panic in a hospital, but it wasn't a problem in this case. That leads me to a discussion about how awesome this whole operation is that we went to in Sanford. But that's getting away from numbers.

9 lbs 1 oz. 22" - not small. Came out without significant damage to Amy, see above, midwives are awesome.

He's much, much more active and aware than Beth was for the first day. This is probably due to the lack of drugs this time around. He's strong, too, already lifting his head from time to time and looking around. So yes, very healthy, very hungry, and generally as good as a newborn can be. Amy's in good shape, too. She's obviously a bit sore after having about 20lbs of flesh and fluid leave her body, but she's not on any hardcore pain killers or having any problems.

Beth was very upset that he wasn't a girl when I told her over the phone (I tried calling you but I guess my numbers are wrong) but later we called Beth again and she heard him crying over the phone and got very excited. She is already helping out a lot, talks about him all the time, etc.

People have been coming to see him pretty regularly, so things have been kinda hectic. I've been staying on top of the laundry and the dishes, etc. I haven't been sleeping much. Our bed is small as is, adding someone I could kill by moving my arm isn't good for sleeping. I've spent a good amount of time on the couch, but that's been fairly difficult for obvious reasons.

James was my grandfather's name. Alexander... shortens to Xander, which Amy likes. I wish we could have used a name from Amy's side of the family but there wasn't much I liked, and anyhow, Amy's grandma is Betty, which is part of the reason I like Elizabeth so much.

I miss my baby... she is so stinking cute LOL

2009-07-04T09:18:00.001-07:00

Ann: Do you want some toast?
Beth: Yes! I want toast with cheese and butter on both sides
Ann: You want a grilled cheese sandwich?
Beth: No, I want toast with cheese and butter on both sides.
Ann: How about I make you some toast?
Beth: (through tearful eyes) I want toast with cheese and butter on both sides.
Ann goes into the kitchen to start making a grilled cheese sandwich. Beth comes in and takes a look.
Beth: (through tearful eyes) That butter looks yucky…
Ann: Go sit down in the living room. (later, brings sandwich to Beth)
Beth: (looks at sandwich and utters something indecipherable)
Ann: What?
Beth: (though tearful eyes) Here’s my problem. I miss my mommy.
Ann: Okay. Mommy doesn’t feel good.
Beth: She doesn’t?
Ann: No, the baby hasn’t come out yet and mommy doesn’t feel like playing now. You can play here and be loud and play with Savannah and Sara. Maybe later we’ll take a walk.
Beth: (smiling) That sounds like fun.
Ann: Yes, and tonight we’ll go see fireworks.
Beth (though tearful eyes) I’m not allowed to go on a ferris wheel.
Ann: We don’t have a ferris wheel.
Beth: (Through tearful eyes) But they have one at the fair.
Ann: The fair is not in town.
Beth: (blows on her grilled cheese sandwich, smiles): That’s how you blow on it!

Silence as Ann tries to get at least one cup of coffee under her belt before round 2.

so stinking cool!

2009-07-01T05:59:00.000-07:00

I would never actually buy this. I was making fun of it till I watched the video.
http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/e203/index.cfm?bnrid=3200801&cm_ven=NBSearch&cm_cat=Google&cm_pla=Top50BeabaBabycook&cm_ite=baby+food+maker&OVMTC=Exact&site=&creative=3245374825&OVKEY=baby%20food%20maker

I think it is so stinking cool that it steams the food then chops it up!! I was feeling guilty for wanting the $30 little electric food grinder from target. It was difficult to get stuff purred enough with Beth. I ended up not really making her baby food till she was bigger, then I just gave her what we were eating. Somehow she managed to lot like veggies and it is a battle that we continue to fight every day.

So in 6 months I will have some cool system all figured out. I am going to use the ice cube tray idea and make up a baggies of different frozen veggies. I plan to fill this child with veggies and be consistent. Hopefully miss Elizabeth will follow suit and eat more veggies!

A depressing realization and conclusion

2009-06-30T05:04:00.000-07:00

So today CM has decided to discontinue the 12x12 old school pages and protectors. I have been scrap booking off and on for 7 years. I enjoy it. It is too bloody expensive. Today I realized I need 63 page protectors to complete my wedding and elizabeth's first year scrap books. Yes I say books because there are 2!! In order to order the prints for the second 6 months and page protectors one would need money. Since I have none and never have any money to "waste" on scrapbooking I think it is time to sell my kit and just go digital.

So I am starting over. I am going to finish my wedding album because it is nearly done but I hate some of the ridiculously bright colors I chose in the beginning. I have enough page protectors in my bag to finish it. When I am done I will sell my tools and bag and just be done with it. I will also have half a shelf free in my office. I am also going to sell the empty album full of blank pages that would have been months 7-12 of Beth's first year. I think I am excited about how little time it will take me to go through all our pictures and knock out some nice albums that can just be printed for a fraction of the cost of printing all the pictures I have, buying albums and such. This is so depressing but the fact is, I haven't kept up. My daughter is going to be 4 and I have done nothing with her baby pictures. My year in reviews I did for the family and had them printed and they are fabulous. With Iphoto's ability to drag/drop and submit online, there is no need for creative memories and this makes me sad....

epic failure

2009-06-28T17:39:00.000-07:00

So we introduced the new cat box like a month ago. Gizmo loved it. Suzie protested and used the tub. Chris said no to bringing in the old cat box. I finally gave up after 2 weeks of cleaning poop out of the tub daily and bleaching my tub, which is still sparkling from an amazing state of clean. So in comes the old box and I decided to try what the directions say, which is to let the old box get nasty and they will want to use the new one. Suzie immediately started using the old box, unfortunately so did Gizmo. It has been a week. The office gets pretty hot so there is a box of shit that is just grossing me out beyond belief. I was beginning to have hope that they would be so grossed out that the new box would begin to look appealing. I was wrong. I caught Suzie peeing in the tub. I think I am going to cry.

Oh and the fortune I spend on flea meds at the beginning of the month is NOT working. They have fleas again and Suzie is leaving disgusting piles of flea dirt on me bed. I can't flea did them because of the toxic chemicals. I just want to cry. I used the 3rd tube I had and split it between them a few days ago.

I feel like a failure. I absolutely love my cats. I will never get rid of Gizmo. I know that Suzie is just getting on my nerves more so due to the hormones. The baby seriously needs to be born so I can go back to a level of calm. Much longer and Suzie is going to find herself living live as an outdoor cat. Which seems horrible and cruel to me. Possibly just out doors to go to the bathroom!

I just really don't understand

2009-06-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

How our nation can be so pissed off at Michael Jackson then as soon as he is dead we start with the hero worship. Ok so he made some good music. The past 10 years we have done nothing but pick on him, investigate him for hurting CHILDREN and now our televisions are broadcasting NOTHING but Michael Jackson. It just makes me shake my head.

What about farrah fawcett who died the same day?? What about all the other normal people who died. I think it is wrong that there has been more tv coverage of his death than of Ronal Reagan's death.

I am amazed that the DAY he passed they were able to pull together a tribute on every single new channel. I am not saying we should not mourn the loss of a human being. A human being who many people liked and who had a record shattering career. What I am saying is that: approximately 10k people die every month in the sudan and 1500 women die in child birth per day across Africa. Over 3,000 of our soldiers have DIED since the beginning of the war. I would be a lot more ok with celebrating Michael's life if we paid a little homage to the men of this country RISKING their lives every day instead of a man that was millions of dollars in debt and facing bankruptcy.

Every life is precious and should be honored. We as a nation should not be paying homage more so to someone who's life choices we did not approve of just a few months ago than people who are out there making a difference in the world every day with their good works.

13 days!!

2009-06-25T06:12:00.000-07:00

Ok Ok so I am excited!! I really really am. I get like this, all insane when I am anxiously awaiting something cool to happen. I pity my husband for every birthday and holiday. It isn't just my birthday. I am WORSE when it is Beth's or his. I turn into this 5 year old that is just so full of giddyness and joy. So yes I know that I have 13-27 days before the baby is born, but yes I will be annoying and perky and excited till she makes her big appearance. That is just who I am. The people who truly know me understand that and love me in-spite of it or maybe because of it.

I have been doing a lot of soul searching. It started with transforming our home into a more habitable place to live. Along that road I discovered I was not happy with the person I felt I had to be. If people can't love and accept you for who you are, including your opinions and ideas, they need to just leave you alone. Life is too short for drama and pettiness. So will I continue to lie to make people happy? umm no. Honesty is my new policy, and something I have been working on for awhile now. So I mean no offense, but you asked. As well as not letting things fester inside of me. I think that each day we as people need to let go of all the anger and hostility. That way when we wake up each morning it will be like a rebirth into the beautiful world that we live in. Sometimes it is easy to forget what a wonderful world we live in and how precious our lives are. I guess after 2 years of my daughter announcing what a BEAUTIFUL or WONDERFUL day it is, every morning when she wakes up that the concept has finally sunk in. So when asking my opinion on something, if you don't agree lets just agree to disagree. I have allowed people to change my opinion on things or effect my decisions when all along I was spot on. That is not how I want to live my life. I spent 16 years of my life living in fear and allowing myself to be a mouse that did what I was told. The past 11 years my husband and grandparents have loved me and nurtured me into a self sufficient intelligent woman who is capable and ALLOWED to have opinions.

I have begun the next step in the journey of my life. This includes being a loving wife and mother to two children. I will also get my masters in education, beginning in the spring or the fall, because that is one of my passions. My love of people is also why I love photography and why I intend to continue to grow my business. I strive to be the best that I can be, to be myself and not let others guilt me into doing what I don't want to do. I feel that through this life will just continue to be a better place filled with me and my families happiness.

needs

2009-06-23T15:55:00.000-07:00

So the baby will be here sometime in the next 15-29 days. There is still stuff that we need! The most important thing I can think of are a few good supportive nursing bras. Two that I bought fell apart after a month. So I wont be getting anymore from target. At the moment I have 2 that are exercise type nursing bras. They are great but I want to find something that doesn't have to be pulled on over my head. I just don't see me surviving on 2 bras! I am kinda sad to be packing away the victoria's secret bras. I FINALLY found 3 bras that fit me well and they are just not practical for breastfeeding. I also need to make some nursing pads since the only reusable ones I can find are the crappy gerber ones. I am contemplating just using wash clothes, but that is kinda bulky. We also need to get a twin bed for the nursery, but that isn't an immediate need, just something for the good old list. Other than that there isn't a TON that we need which is fantastic! We actually have too many baby clothes, so I hope that some mommy has a baby girl! Also I have to find someone to hand all the pregnant lady clothes on to.

I am so very excited to be at the end of this journey. I have learned a lot about myself and the amazing things that I can accomplish! I hope things transition smoothly and I honestly thing they will since miss Elizabeth is so stinking excited about her baby sister. She keeps asking if she is done growing yet. We finally installed the car seat and packed a bag, so I am ready when ever she is!

http://www.target.com/registry/baby/014399700304123

baby ramble

2009-06-23T01:22:00.000-07:00

So there is still no baby Duffy. My back is killing me and I have had cramps and contractions for 2 days. I am happy that she has not made her appearance yet. My grandparents are heading home from Michigan on Thursday. Even if she does come before they get back her arrival and theirs wont be THAT big of a deal. It is so blasted hot I am glad they aren't home!

The contractions started on Sunday in Lowes. I decided we needed a living room rug. I honestly thought the baby was going to come in Lowes. I never experienced anything like a "real" contraction with beth. I had some braxton hicks, but they were just tightening and a little bit of discomfort. What I thought were real contractions are really nothing compared to what I am having now. So my take is that the human body is incredibly amazing. I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride. My body is getting ready with all these little climbs and drops. I am very excited about the big grand finale and getting to meet my new little baby!!

I straightened up stuff yesterday. I started having some serious anxiety issues over the nursery. Half of the room is ready, the other half is a dumping ground of old toys that either need to be organized and kept or donated. It is just so crowded in there I can't think. So I decided to take some of the little baby clothes and put them in our room so I don't have to go in there! This is also when I discovered our serious lack of diaper wipes and bedding. So off to Target we went. I figured if nothing else the walking would be good for me.

I need to make a shopping list. There are a few things that we are going to need that we simply don't have. Yesterday I couldn't find a changing table pad thing. I want one with the sides and a strap that doesn't fold up. (beth's folded and got all gross and disgusting) Does target have one? NO. I have been looking for a few weeks and I think I am going to have to order it off the internet. That pisses me off so much. I just don't see myself sitting down on the floor in her room and changing her diaper. Our bed is a on the floor now so even that would be difficult, I am also having memories of beth peeing all over my bed and having to change the sheets a few times in the first few days. I am better at changing diapers now, but I am also rusty since I haven't done it in a year!!

The past 2 nights Beth has gone to stay with Ann and Brendan. The first night Chris was certain that the baby would be coming and shipped her off. Then yesterday Ann thought the baby would be coming and didn't want to be getting up in the middle of the night to handle the child swap. I am grateful for the second baby keeping. I went to bed at I think 8. It was still light out and I am not sure. Woke up at 4 and am feeling pretty good! So I think I will go chop vegetables for dinner! I was so miserable by last night that I didn't feel up to it so we had Ann meet up at Friendlies and fed her dinner for keeping the monkey. I feel well rested and very ready for my dr appointment at 9. I am anxious to see if there is any dilation. If there isn't I think I am going to cry, all this work my body is doing better be for something!! :)

publix

2009-06-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

So I made my meal plan for the next 2 weeks! Made a shopping list then hit the store! I wanted to get as much as possible today so next week I can just get milk and fresh veggies. My total bill was $205.58. My total savings was $68.11. OK so I went over my $150 budget, BUT there was good stuff on sale and we have enough cereal for the entire month of July LOL. So I have more than I need in my food plan so that is good. I just can't get over the $23 in free coupon money. I just makes me so excited!!

I did it!

2009-06-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

I planned out 2 weeks worth of meals, and made a shopping list. :) I have my budget set so I hope I will do well.

Baby has a bed!

2009-06-17T06:12:00.000-07:00

So I decided to pull down the old pack n play. I inspected every square inch of it to make sure there was nothing wrong with it. I put it next to our bed and put a sheet in it incase the cats got in it, I didn't want to have to clean it all over again! The cats have not even LOOKED at it! I am so very happy!! Beth is so happy that the baby has a bed. She seems to be calmer and not worried. I have to make some custom sheets for it because the ones at target didn't fit when I bought them for beth. I am very very excited. I can't wait to meet our new little one. I am the world's most impatient person so I am trying to be good and not overly annoying with my excitement!

Today we are going bowling. Beth is so excited! She loves to go "bawling." I hope to get some work done in the baby room when we get home but I am foreseeing a nap of epic proportions. :)

Rocking the grocery store!!! WOOT!

2009-06-16T10:46:00.000-07:00

Loaf of bread : $1.29
4 boxes of honey nut cheerioes: 4.29 each, BOGO with a save a $1 on 3: $7.58
2 boxes of Wheat thins, HUGE box that was also 25% more (1 pound 4 oz box) BOGO: $4.49
2 bags of thomas plain bagels BOGO: $3.99
Oscar Mayer weiners BOGO: 2.99
FREE package of hot dog buns for buying the weiners SAVED $1.19
Gallon of milk: 2.89

Total Bill: $23.23
SAVED: 22.24

I ROCK!! :)

All we actually needed was milk and bread to make it through the rest of the week, but I could NOT pass up these deals. :)

TO do list

2009-06-15T14:21:00.001-07:00

Kitchen
Originally uploaded by duffyimages

I look pictures through the house of my progress and put notes of all the stuff that still needs to be done.

hmmm Used to be able to post more pictures. Not sure why I can't now GRRR. Oh well. There are a few pics of flickr of my clean house with notes on what is needed. :)

having a routine

2009-06-15T04:45:00.001-07:00

My life has changed so much over the past year. For the past 7 years we have moved around. I have carried my guilt possessions with me. If someone gave me something, I wasn't allowed to get rid of it. Four years ago I had a bit of a revelation and decided to begin getting rid of stuff. I actually had a rubbermaid tub full of greeting cards under my bed. It was a massive box that I just was not allowed to get rid of. Allowing myself to throw away 26 years worth of cards was a very liberating thing. From there I started donating bags of stuff. I began to be ok with not having storage tubs full of stuff.

Today my biggest obstacle in the land of clutter is mostly paper. I have big massive piles of paper that get out of control. Today is a new and exciting day. Yesterday I successfully tidied up the house. Dusted, vacuumed, mopped, cleaned surfaces and did laundry. It wasn't overly exhausting except the mopping. I know I did good because I can walk today. Normally post clean frenzy I have an inability to get out of bed and move my legs due to how I landed on my back 9 years ago when I fell off a horse. Which is partially why I procrastinate vacuuming and mopping. :) I now have a fabulous mop. Sean left it when he moved, my sponge mop fell apart and I decided to give this rag mop a go. OMG I am in love. This bad boy rocks! Leaves the floors dryer than the sponge. ALSO you can use it to hit the base boards. So that means less times per year I have to get down there and scrub them on my knees. I have been hitting the base boards with the vacuum attachment about every 2 weeks when I have been dusting the walls. However due to pregnancy hormones today I decided to vacuum the walls/baseboards even though I JUST did that last week. I have a theory that if the house is clean and functional it will be easy to maintain once the little one arrives.

So what needs to be done? Well as I said I have all this guilt stuff that piles up. It has now made its way to being shoved in the pantry ( ah the never ending dump site) and on a desk next to my desk. So my to do list is: find the pantry (AGAIN) and find the work surface next to my desk. This I have already started. It really isn't THAT bad. I do have a stack of stuff that needs to go on ebay and papers that need to be filed or burned. Then the school corner needs to be tackled and the bookshelf of my jadeite which I have been shoving mail onto. I love my jadeite. I feel no guilt from it. Even the pieces my mom gave me for christmas a few years ago that can't be used due to being cracked are ok. They look pretty on the shelf. I have taken up a strictly functional outlook on life. If something doesn't have a purpose it needs to not exist. I used to have a dresser that was completely covered in jewelry boxes that were stuffed full of "stuff". Not jewelry but bit and pieces of things that had really little meaning or usefulness. I started really thinking about what the boxes were and where they came from. I got rid of the things that were not important inside, then looked at the boxes and realized they really were not important either so I donated or gave them away. Now I have 3 little boxes that I have kept. One has my rock collection in it, it has a strawberries and a little girl on it with a ballerina that spins in the inside. I have had this for as long as I can remember. I am ok keeping it because it also houses another childhood thing I enjoyed which was rocks. I am looking forward to giving my rocks to beth one day. She is so obsessed with them. On to box #2 a metal square bank. I have no idea why but I LOVE it! I bought it at the bazar years ago. It has white daisies with yellow trim. Inside are random worthless coins. I liked weird foreign change when I was a kid too. Third is my very simple jewelry box that my MIL gave me for christmas 2 years ago. Last year I went through the jewelry box of guilt and got rid of everything that was "junk". Now my few ear rings and necklaces are in an organized home that doesn't take up half my space. While it may sound strange I am proud of my 3 little boxes of important stuff. They don't have a large foot print but they mean a lot to me. It is ok to keep the things that are important, but important possessions should not be allowed to take up so much space in our lives and keep us from living. This is why I love our bed room so much now!! It is incredibly simple with no clutter. It is a place that I can go and sleep and actually have restful sleep.

So in the grand scheme of things significant progress has been steadily made. We have stopped being consumers and buying junk we don't need. More importantly than not buying we have stopped taking in "free" stuff. My mom was the biggest cause of this. While I am grateful for all her help, I have learned to say no and understand that I am not hurting her feelings. She has the thoughtfulness to offer things to me. If I don't want them she sells them. It is ok to pass things along to others, it is ok to say no to things, it is ok to let go.

Very cool day!

2009-06-12T14:17:00.001-07:00

So today was my pampered mommy spa day at the midwife. I must say it was very very cool!!! As part of your package of giving birth there you get to pick: belly cast, henna tattoo, pedicure, or massage. I went with the pedicure because I can barely get my shoes on these days.

Due to scheduling conflicts Chris had to work so Beth and I dropped him on and headed back to Sanford. She was such an incredibly good girl! I got my feet done and had lunch. Then I came home and crashed. I just really think it is so nice that the Heart to Heart Birth Center takes such good care of their mommies. I tried to imagine going into Dr Brooks and Gelman and having one of them give me a pedicure HAHA.

I am looking forward to a relaxing weekend with my family.

about time!

2009-06-08T15:13:00.000-07:00

I finally bought some "whole foods" supplements. We are doing Amazing Grass' Kidz super food. I decided to go this route because it "tastes good." It has greens, oranges/yellows, reds, blues/purples. One serving has 3 servings of fruits and veggies. We will see how we feel after a few days. I am sure there are different supplements, but this one seemed like a good fit since we can all 3 take it and the one container will last a month. I may alter what we do next month and this "something" is better than nothing. :)

obsessed!

2009-06-05T09:56:00.000-07:00

So I have become a tad obsessed with laundry. I have washed EVERYTHING in the whole house! Every blanket sheet and shirt has been laundered. I have one load in the washer and one in the dryer. I am thinking now that I am all caught up and happy I will rotate every day and do just one load. White, darks, towels, diapers, sheets or something like that. I may be being overly optimistic at one load per day but I think it is a good goal. :)

Today I organized Beth's closet better. She no longer has "toys" in there. We were putting dress up clothes and dolls in there. Now dolls are on her book shelf and dress up stuff in in her bottom dresser drawer. The only 2 toys on the floor are her doll house and littlest pet shop. I am fine with the doll house on the floor, just don't like the pet shop there so I am trying to figure that one out. It wont fit on her bookshelf because it is too tall GAH. I also removed her bin of potato head. I am going to put in in the nursery which is fast becoming the safe for any age play room (but up in the closet for now).

I am really very happy with the progress I have made!! My kitchen is spotless (cupboards, counters and microwave), as is the inside of the refrigerator! My bed room is dust free and the closet is organized! Beth's room is very organized and dust free!! Yesterday I worked on the living room and cleaned the couch! Vacuumed and wiped it down. Chris and I have the office clean and pretty organized. There is floor space but I still have stuff to go through and sort and file.

Off to finish the living room!! :)Then on to the pantry and craft supplies!!

When I am done then I get the reward of working in the nursery. It has been a very good motivator!

then there were 35 days!

2009-06-03T05:35:00.001-07:00

I am getting very excited!! Trying to get everything organized and make the house flow. I feel like I have been on this mission for 2 years... Today's mission is the living room! I am thinking it will take me about 30 minutes tops to pick it up and vacuum all the surfaces. I did beth's and our room yesterday. I also started to tackle my "pile of pain" in the garage! I feel like today will be a good day! I am off to a great start! I have already snuggled, showered and eaten breakfast. Computer time is now done and chris has been given enough quiet time so I am going to start vacuuming LOL.

and the culprit is!!!

2009-05-31T06:59:00.000-07:00

SUZIE!!! got busted pooping in the bath tub by chris this Am UGGGGGG. I got up and cleaned the cat box. It was totally clean this am. No poop, no pee...and she decided to do her business in the tub. I think I want to cry. Maybe now would be a good time to toilet train her LOL> I mean if she wants to poop in the bath room that is fine with me!! Maybe she could just you know move over a few inches and do it in the toilet?? That may be asking too much.

A new day

2009-05-29T03:56:00.000-07:00

Last night totally sucked. I tried to update my website, but when we moved my data from my lap top to the tower and it became a multi user system my stuff was in a different spot. So I had epic PEBCAK error. Knew there was a problem when the site wasn't updated after waiting for the long uploads. I tried it didn't work, so I did a WHOLE site upload like start over for me there godaddy, which takes a long time. Not nearly as long as the old format of my website because it has a much better design now, but still 30 minutes to do it, and I did it 4 times before sending the files to my desktop and knowing FOR SURE where the heck they were.

In other news, I made iLife 09 like me again. Apparently I was having other PEBCAK issues. New iLife talks natively with facebook AND flickr. Guess who has been trying to make her plug in work for 6 months??!! Thats right ME. So I started updating my picture of the day 365 project. I am very excited and happy. It is all Chris' fault. He has started his own picture of the day website and and and a girl loves some competition!!! LOL

Today we have 40 days till we meet our daughter. At this moment her name is Aleena Isabelle. BUT should it be Alina? or Aleenah? Or what chris wants and actually be Isabelle? OR should we try harder to come up with a better name?? I want something old and classic, like Elizabeth. There is SO much that can be done with it! There are options. Unlike my name AMY which there really is nothing you can do to be called something different when you are having a childhood identity crisis. http://www.babycenter.com/myBabyNameList.htm?intcmp=ViewList_ViewBabyNameList&pn=Baby%20namer
There are boy names too because I wanted to be prepared JUST incase that pesky old penis "comes back."

I am looking forward to a fabulous day at the park today!! AND I already had a craigslist email reply to my lap top for sale. So today is looking to be an excellent day!! :)

My beautiful daughter!

2009-05-28T11:19:00.001-07:00

Beth
Originally uploaded by duffyimages

I have the world's most amazing daughter!! She really wanted to take pictures today. SO after a long time of hiding from me with the camera she hammed it up! :)

I LOVE RON PAUL!!!

2009-05-26T13:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DfuvndfA1jw&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww%2Ecampaignforliberty%2Ecom%2F&feature=player_embedded

Following the constitution is a good thing. He has a good point. The department of agriculture does an important job, BUT we are spending a LOT of money they shouldn't be spent. They aren't doing THAT good of a job. Look at the "crap" they are leaking into our food system. Unsafe food that gets recalled. If the "big" companies weren't being so subsidized by the government the little guys would have a chance. I think we need the department of agriculture but I also think he has a point that it can be cut back, still protect the people and this can help us get out of debt. We have to fix ourselves before we "fix" the rest of the world...

I also LOVE that mr Ron gives a good shout out to homeschoolers....:)

let me just say

2009-05-21T09:19:00.001-07:00

That I have the most fabulous husband EVER!!

He has built me a wonderful tower!! Which will allow me to sell my lap top. He has sacrificed so much and given me such a fabulous life. He helped me get through college and has been by partner. I could not have asked for a better support structure.

He even came and found my water bottle for me in the middle of the night when I was thirsty but terribly comfy. My man rocks!! :)

stolen blog

2009-05-18T09:43:00.001-07:00

Because I love my hubby and his descriptions... especially when it makes me laugh.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Beat.
Wow, this week has been tough:

Sunday: Mother's Day
Monday: Amy's Graduation
Tuesday: Baby Doctor Appointment
Wednesday: The House Attempts to Burn Down
Thursday: Ash removal
Friday: Work, then a rehearsal (duffyimages.com work)
Saturday: duffyimages.com wedding

Sunday: Well, I took it off. I watched TV. I worked on my own little projects. And I played video games.

Today I completed Two video games. There's two things of note in that sentence; firstly I did not use the term 'beat,' and secondly, Twice in One Day.

My Lack of 'Beat' is very intentional. To me, Completing a game is merely finishing it's main story mode. Beating, however, that's a different cup of tea. To beat something, one must do everything the game has to offer... collect everything, complete all the side quests, or whatever else the game does- and do it all on the highest difficulty and/or in the shortest amount of time possible. For more information on this subject see Advance Wars according to Sean Williams, or perhaps even Halo according to Isaac Titcomb.

I completed the main story on Ace Combat Zero, and it was Great. I loved the story. Did I beat it? Hell No. . . I don't think I even did a single mission above the Easy difficulty. I'm really not the type to beat a game into submission. In fact, it's downright rare that I even finish the story on games. I just don't put the time needed into them, and what time I do put in is usually not well focused (Don't ask me about my Oblivion save), so finishing a story is a big deal for me. Two in one day? even bigger.

Hence the entry.

The two games I finished today were LittleBigPlanet and Flower. Playing these games made Sean tell me I needed more explosions in my life. Finishing them, when I finish so few, is probably proof of his observation. Taking the time to brag about it on the internet is downright embarrassing. But hey, I'm already married and have children. I have proof that I'm not gay.

First off, LittleBigPlanet. LBP is not about the story. Not at all. It's about the relentless pursuit of the right side of the screen that we've found in every platformer ever, and that's enough for the game to stand on. It doesn't need a story, because it's a well-built, very customizable, highly entertaining run and jump game in the tradition of many very good games that have come before it.

That being said, the story is actually pretty good. It comes in short sound bites, and is, of course, totally irrelevant to the gameplay, but it's often witty and enjoyable while still managing to explain why the levels look different. Your travels throughout the game take you to many parts of the world which successfully walk the line between cultural theming and promoting stereotypes. The story develops characters in each of these areas of the world which you visit.

Then, suddenly- the Big Bad® appears. And the story starts to describe him, though not in much detail at all. He's known as "The Collector" and apparently he's been going around the world and collecting stuff, and, later on, the characters themselves that you've come to know in your previous adventures, to keep for his own. This is considered to be insane, despicable behavior, which must be stopped, with force, applied by you.

Now what's interesting here is that LBP is a collecting game, also. As you progress through levels your score is largely determined by the number of items you collect. These items are parts of the level that you can later use in creating your own LBP levels. That being the case, chasing someone called The Collector seems kinda ironic... in fact, at one point I was thinking that the boys at MediaMolecule (LBP's developers) were going to turn the story on it's head and have you come to find out that "The Collector" was simply the tag Fox News had put on You due to all of the reports of missing stuff. Therefore, it would have turned out that you were chasing yourself... would have perhaps been an interesting twist... but no.

No, definitely not.

I can say that MediaMolecule's writers are certainly from America- because LBP's ending comes with a heaping supply of Extra Cheese.

When you get to The Collector's area, the icon to start his level is a dark face with two glowing eyes. The music is ominous. The entire world is scared of this guy. Soldiers wish you luck on your way in. It's time to go be a hero and take this guy down.

So who is The Collector? He's a Fucking Egg sitting on a hoverround. The entire world has been terrorized by a geriatric humpty-dumpty. Seriously.

In hindsight, I suppose this isn't too far from the real world... Bin Laden being on dialysis and all. But the point still stands.

While chasing Humpty through his maze you release the characters from the other parts of the world from their cages. Do they come help? No, but that's not too surprising considering that they were imprisoned by breakfast-on-wheels. When you catch up to him, he throws some machines at you which you defeat. He runs off one screen to the right and you follow him, and find him trapped.

At this point you could... well, step on him. Or perhaps push him off the edge of a wall. Instead, everyone you released shows up, and through a useless dialog convince him that he can share everything he's collected with the LittleBigPlanet community, and that is a much cooler thing to do than keeping it all for himself. The Sun comes up, the end.

What a let down. There are so many better ways to end a platform game. Let's reflect on some classics:

The Princess is in another castle (actually, it's this one, just pallet swapped).
Ok, do it again, but the enemies will be twice as hard!
Ok, do it again, but do it in under 47 minutes!
Ok, do it again, but do it as a different character with half of the abilities you have.
Great! Now you can go back the way you came and re-explore everything. Oh, by the way- The Castle is Upside-down now.

You know, maybe the ending wasn't that bad.

Flower, on the other hand...

Flower is an interesting game. It really plays on your emotions. The use of shapes and colors and wonderful use of audio effects and score create moods as you progress through the game. There are no words. There is a story, though I imagine that story will be mildly different for each person who experiences this game.

And it really is an experience.

The second to last area was especially difficult for me. It was dark, confusing, easy to get lost in. I felt like I had a challenge in front of me that could not be met, not just because of size but also my inability to make any progress at all. It was just dark. The only time there was light was when there was lightning.

The transformation that happens through that level and the one that follows (the last level) provided one of the most rewarding experiences I've ever gotten out of a video game. And I'm at a loss for words on exactly what I mean by saying that, or how it pulled it off.

So there you have it. Story with words, and story beyond words. LBP can live without the story, and therefore will get plenty of more play time. Flower would be useless without it's story, but thankfully it's story is strong and uniquely told.

Good stuff.

Good Sunday.

The life and times of ME!!

2009-05-14T17:13:00.001-07:00

So yesterday I putzed around the house. Post Katie's pampered chef party I felt all inspired to cook. So I pulled out all my kitchen gadgets, washed them and the knives and had them all out drying on the counter. I did some other cleaning, taking it easy nothing too intense. I also started a video project! I decided that it was about time Beth's first year got put on dvd. So I imported all my video then decided to try to import mom's video off her cam corder since it has beth at christmas on it. Well it wouldn't turn on. So I plugged in the LI ION battery into the charger and plugged it in behind my lap top because I have this cool plug on my desk. Like an hour later it was still charging and the light hadn't come on that it was done I continued putzing. Chris calls and we were invited to go to Sonny's with Chuck and Brendan and his dad. SO Beth and I walk to chuck's totally forgetting about the battery. We come home and the house is full of smoke. Discover the wall behind my desk is all black and the battery is smoldering in my tissue box. Thankfully my lap top which was right in front of the plug was FINE! I only burnt up one wedding contract and that was from last saturday. My other "pile" of bills and miscellaneous paper didn't burn! I lost a few pencils, my chap stick melted, lost a usb wire, my plug end of my lap top power wire (but chris had another) and a Fire wire plug. Oh and my desk lost a circle of the top coat fake wood. The house is completely covered in soot. BUT I am so THANKFUL to have a house!! I feel very blessed that our home was not destroyed!!

I spent today cleaning soot. I have our desks, the network shelves, chris' shelf o toys, and his bookshelf all un sooted. I finished organizing my kitchen today after re washing the gadgets still out, the counters and the cupboards! My utensils are all shiny! I cooked dinner and even cleaned up after. I cleaned the bathroom while beth was in the shower before bed and now I am off to fold the 4 loads of laundry I washed today. I am moving through the house slow and steady. I get too tired to just go like a crazy person and get all the cleaning done. I am just very pleased with what I have accomplished today. :)

I think I want a fire extinguisher for my birthday...:)

The little things we slack on

2009-05-06T08:51:00.000-07:00

So I have been slacking on pretty much everything Elizabeth the past few months. Between school and being completely exhausted I have not been being the diligent parent I normally am.
Bad things that need correcting:
*arguing when I say no.
*shaking her head when I say no. For example she says candy and I say no you can't have that her shaking her head that she can.
*when told to go to time out/her room, the crying, screaming complaining. I need to be strong and not give her a hug. She is supposed to be upset, she is being punished for doing something wrong. I am not helping the situation.
I think these are very good issues to begin my journey of finding my sweet good little girl again. I need to be consistent and follow through! This is more of a mommy check up than a Beth check up. I have been a complete slacker, I have no one to blame but myself.

Other things that need addressing:
finish organizing the toys strewn all over the nursery floor.
Organize my "pile' in the office.
Over all organizing and de-clutter. I plan to take this very slowly. I am very happy with my past 2 days of having the house picked up and easy to maintain. I am striving to make it better, one trash bad at a time. :)

DONE!!

2009-05-04T16:21:00.000-07:00

I am now DONE with my degree. I have all my A+ class, I got a B. I am thinking about maybe taking real A+ certification class, but I am not sure if it is really WORTH the $150 of the test when I wont be using the certification anytime soon...

I am waiting for my capstone teacher to get around to grading the past 3 weeks worth of work. I really would like to know what my grade is for that class so I can see what my FINAL GPA is. :)

I am so bloody happy to be done!!!

30 weeks!!! YIPPEEE!!

2009-04-29T05:27:00.000-07:00

I am so excited to be 30 weeks pregnant! This pregnancy has FLOWN by!! I have gained 29 pounds, but that is with the starting weight of having thrown up EVERYTHING for a month. I think I am more up 20 pounds from pre pregnancy weight. I really don't see how that is possible. My arms and legs are the same size if not smaller. I have some in my face, but it is mostly in the front of my stomach. This week I have been really putting away the water. I have had a small juice obsession and know that water is better. I am resisting the urge to eat the rest of Beth's easter candy. (chocolate is just so yummy!!)

I am so happy that the baby is right on track size wise, I am measuring correctly. She is moving and kicking but the kicks are not as strong as last week. The midwife said she is just starting to run out of room. I love the internal kicking and moving, it lets me know everything is ok.

Everyday feels like I am on fast forward. I feel like by the time I am awake it is time to go to bed and start over. I am looking forward to no school in May and absolutely NOTHING to do in June! I want to go to the beach, pool, law chair in the back yard and do nothing, just soak it all in.

Chris' mom is heading off to Paris and my grandparents are planning a vacation to Michigan. I wanted to go camping before it go too hot and I got too big but it just never happened. I am planning to take a mini day trip/vacation to the space center in May. Chris has been wanting to go for so very long. Their annual passes are just a little more than regular admission. So I am pretty sure we will do that. It will give Chris something he can go and do with Beth and give me and the baby a day of rest in the coming months.

I now have 10 weeks to apply for my graduate program that I hope to start in January. I want to study Instructional Systems at UCF. It basically teaches how to teach online, and set up an online school. I think it is very fascinating and cool!

As the semester is winding down I feel very calm and relaxed! It is a nice feeling. I am so happy to almost be done with my degree!! It has been SO LONG. :-)

Of course!

2009-04-28T04:31:00.000-07:00

Elizabeth would start sneezing today!! UGGG. Stupid sensationalist media and their driving fear into everyone!! I constantly washed her hands at the circus! Yesterday I sanitized them every time we got back in the car, since we went to so many places... stupid swine flu fear. I refuse to worry about this. :)

One mostly down!

2009-04-28T04:21:00.000-07:00

I finished my A+ hardware project and the last of the chapter tests! Now I just have a few assignments to do then the final next monday!!! If I score like 3/15 on the final I will pass with a C!! Slightly depressing. I didn't devote the time necessary to get an A in this class. I thought it would be super easy, but it was actually REALLY hard!! There is still the possibility of doing fairly well on the final and getting a B, that would make me VERY happy!! LOL

2 days to go on the old capstone!!

This weekend Chris is going to help his dad at Daytona and mount his new tires!! Also change the oil. Our car is getting a bit of a spa weekend and it deserves it!! I am very sad that we had to spend the $500 to fix the old car on a new refrigerator!! I am glad we have the new refrigerator, BUT it would have been nice to have 2 cars. Oh well. There is always next month.

Today I will try my best to be productive and not just sleep all day. Yesterday was completely exhausting, following a completely exhausting weekend.

Busy busy life!!!

2009-04-27T05:54:00.000-07:00

Well my crazy schedule over the last month is about to either get more insane or calm down!!
Today is just insane, I have a midwife appointment, but no freaking idea what time... Must pay the water bill and can't find the check book. SO I have to hit the ATM, and give $ to the other bank for chris' loan AND the city hall before 5 to pay for our water. I promise I WILL get myself organized over the next two months! I also need to get to DSC and pay my FEES to graduate. Hello I have paid you tens of thousands and you want $35 more dollars??!! LOL Wouldn't be so bad if I could pay online. But NOOO. So I have to go to sanford then go to daytona talk about a ton of driving. I hate driving. I also MUST hit the post office today and mail DVD's.

I am about done with my capstone paper! My group of 7 is working together fairly well. The compiled paper sits at 34 pages, single spaced. It really needs to be gone through and made to sound better, but I can do that tomorrow. Today is far too full to try to think about a paper. Paper is due on Wednesday and need only be 20 pages, so I am well pleased.

A+ I will be finishing my A+ class!! I have a 3 chapter test tonight AND a hardware project aka take apart a computer, put it back together, install windows. Then next monday I take my final and I will be done!!

So this is the final streatach! After wednesday I will be in a state of calm and relaxation! May 11th I graduate from college!! I am so stinking excited!!!

The month of may I have 3 weddings booked. Just have to make it through the 22nd. Then I can sleep till July!! LOL So happy happy joy joy life is good!!!

feeling amazing then terrified!!

2009-04-18T20:38:00.000-07:00

I did so good at today's wedding. Since I haven't shot one since November I went with self doubt. I always let my poor self esteem second guess my skills. I did really well. I am pleased with the images and my ability to be 28 weeks pregnant and still kick some photographic butt!!

I left empowered and on a natural high.

Then I almost got to I-4 from Daytona, and thats when I saw the first 2 deer. There were 9!! stinking deer between me and home! Thank GOD they didn't run in front of me. I was so terrified I didn't go over 60 the whole way home. I feel like such a dork. All I could think was OMG I am gonna hit a deer and die and my baby will die. So I drove like a granny.... I apologies to all the people on I-4. I realize your need to go 80-100 miles per hour, but that is why there are 2 lanes. Thank you for not hitting me. :)

I don't know what scared me more, thinking of me hitting a deer or someone else!! I just felt to bad and worried for them. I am a dork...